Who Do You Think You’re Fooling?

It’s the first day of April, and that day marks a rather strange holiday called April Fool’s Day; do you know it?  In the U.S., it’s a day to play practical jokes and pranks on others.  I guess there’s really no harm in a little innocent deception, as long as it’s limited to just one day.  It’s the other 364 days of the year that have us concerned.

Oh, don’t pretend you don’t know what we’re talking about...You can’t fool us!  There’s a lot of trickery going on all right, and unfortunately, we’re our own greatest jokester and the pranks are far less innocent because we’re playing with our lives.  The deceit can take on many forms including blaming, avoiding and tolerating, and it seems to be motivated by a single emotion, and that emotion is fear.

Before you write off this post as just another April Fool’s joke, are you fooling yourself with any of these?

It’s not my fault: That may be true, but it’s not anyone else’s fault either.  Aside from an act of God, we’re responsible for our personal circumstances.

Change is hard: Change is a choice.  How easy or how hard it is depends on our perspective.

I can’t: How often have you uttered this untruth?  Let’s get real here; it’s not that you can’t, it’s that you won’t.

It’s not really that important: Oh really?  Well, if it’s not that important, why does your heart leap with joy when you think about it?  Why have you been dreaming about it since childhood?  Why does a life without it make your heart break? 

It’s just how it is: It may be the current situation, but you have the power to take action and transform your reality into something better.

That’s selfish: It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about our energy, our time, or our money, if we’re depleted and running on fumes, we’re of little help to anyone.  Want to be the best you for your spouse, your kids, and your workplace?  It’s in everyone’s best interest to tend to your own needs first.

It’s time you start to see through the tricks you’re playing on yourself, step through the fear, and reserve those foolish antics for April Fool’s Day.

Kim,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:“The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. We live in denial of what we do, even what we think. We do this because we're afraid."  ~Richard Bach

What Dis-Empowering Spells are you Under?

There are times when life is pure magic; and then there are times when the spell is on you!  We’re not talking hexes or voodoo.  The curses we’re referring to are the ones we cast on ourselves.  Below are the top 5 dis-empowering spells we see women living under and how you can break them.  

Break the Spell of Negative Thinking: Watch what you think about because often it’s what you will bring about.  Think positive, happy and grateful thoughts, and you’ll attract more of the same.  Likewise, focus on what’s wrong in the world, the deadlines at work, difficulties with the family, and you’ll find it hard to fit a good thought in edgewise!  If you’re looking to make a big impact fast, change the way you look at things.  Find the silver lining in every situation and soon your outlook will transform, as if by magic.

Break the Spell of Limiting Beliefs: Our thought patterns are formed at a young age, often inspired by influential adults and experiences during our young formative years.  Our beliefs about money, self-worth, deservedness, and more, are shaped early-on, never to be questioned again.  But question you must!  What if you belief is a lie?

Every belief that is holding you back from your best life can be converted into a new, true, and empowering belief, simply by changing your mindset.  “The Work” by Bryon Katie, offers a formula for questioning these thoughts: Is it true?  Can you absolutely know it’s true?  How do you react (what happens) when you believe that thought?  Who would you be without the thought?

Break the Spell of Blame: Have you been playing the game of “Blame and Complain”?  Well, no more pointing fingers at your parents for the way you were raised, at your spouse for not helping enough around the house, or at the boss for hating your job.  If you know there’s a problem and things aren’t working, decide to make a change and then follow through.  Nobody is in charge of your happiness but you.

Break the Spell of Mistakes: We’re all human and make mistakes.  Don’t let them hold you hostage for the rest of your life!  Think of them as experience and practice for your future.  Admit your role, make amends with those hurt (including you), and then break free from the past so it won’t screw up the present.

Break the Spell of Envy: Do you have a propensity towards a “grass is always greener” way of thinking?  If you actually had the opportunity to walk a mile in some else's shoes, you might be surprised at what you find.  If we all threw our problems into a pile, and saw ours compared side-by-side with everyone else's, we’re pretty confident we’d each grab our own back.

Kim,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:
“The appearance of things change according to our emotions, and thus we see magic and beauty in them, while the magic and beauty are really in ourselves.”  ~Kahlil Gibran

I’ve Got Some Bad News and Good News

How many times have we heard that statement? We’re reluctant to hear the bad news but at the same time so relieved to hear there’s some good in the mix. The only question that remains is which to hear first.

Recently I had a revelation; a big ah-ha moment that has changed forever the way I think about the “good news-bad news” phenomenon. What if the “bad” news was also the “good” news? Bear with me a moment and let me roll out my thought process…

A few months ago when I was in Tampa for the “I Can Do It” seminar I called home to check in with the hubby. I could sense immediately that something was wrong and sure enough his mother had fallen and broken her leg. Mom celebrated her 86th birthday in August and has been struggling with foot and leg pain for a while now, and her eyesight has been deteriorating as well; all a result of diabetes. Getting around was a challenge for her already and now a broken leg…yes, this was definitely bad news.

However, I was already in day three of my “I Can Do It” experience. I had received a hug and a kiss from Wayne Dyer, saw Louise Hay gush over pictures of my niece and nephew, heard the greatest motivational speakers share about God’s hand in our lives and His miracles (not their rarity, but their frequency), and saw scientific evidence proving the existence of Divine support (as if I needed more). The underlying message throughout the event was that we are part of a greater plan, contributing to a greater purpose, supported and loved by a greater Power. Thus, everything that happens, happens for a reason.

But what could possibly be the reason for my mother-in-law having to suffer yet another blow to her health? Well…with the broken bone and surgery to repair it, Mom will be getting some physical therapy; I’m sure that will contribute to her ability to get around in a more stable fashion in the future. Maybe eating meals and taking her medications under the supervision of medical staff will improve her health overall. And Dad…well the best of Dad comes out in times like these. At the age of 90, his Marine training kicks in and…how shall I say it…everything from meals to laundry becomes a little more regimented.

Wow, maybe some “good” could come out of this. I started to think back at other “bad” experiences from my past and found that even the “worst of the worst” of them had set into motion events that in hindsight support my happiness today.

From our vantage point it’s impossible for us to see the greater plan for our lives. We must stop labeling anything as “bad” because it might actually be for our “good”. What if instead we imagine the best that could arise from the situation and look for the lesson or gift that is hiding there for us?

O.k., humor me one last time… “I’ve got good news and bad news. The bad news IS the good news.”

Kim,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:
“If you don't change your beliefs, your life will be like this forever. Is that good news?” ~ W. Somerset Maugham

Empowerment Tool: The Change Equation

I’m sure we would all agree that empowerment would come easier if we lived in a plastic bubble. Our world would be safe and totally under our control. We could go through our day and not have to deal with the driver that cuts us off, the spouse that doesn’t fold the laundry according to the approved protocol, or the negative co-worker whose main goal in life if to drag everyone down into the crab bucket. Unfortunately we don’t have that kind of isolated existence and we must interact with people of all kinds, as well as their behaviors and actions, daily.


We’re faced with obstacles, challenges, and irritations day in and day out, and if we’re not careful it’s easy to play the blame game. The areas in our life that we’re not happy with become due to someone or something else: My marriage is dead because of my husband, I hate my job because of my boss, I’m physically unhealthy because of my genetics, etc. We think that nothing can get better unless these other things change, and because changing another person or a situation that truly is out of our control is impossible, we become stuck.

But I have some fantastic news…It IS possible to change the outcome of any situation. It’s as easy as a mathematical equation and starts with changing that which is truly in your power; yourself!

Would you like to see proof?

It’s called the change equation, or simply A+B=C, as described by Dr. Catherine Birndorf, MD in her book “The Nine Rooms of Happiness”. Consider it a little empowerment tool to tuck in your belt.

A – is you, B – is the thing you are blaming (that is not in your control to change), and C – is the outcome. So you see, if you make a change to A (yourself) and leave that which is out of your control (or B) unchanged, you will still get a different end result for any challenge or difficulty you may face. Such a simple solution for becoming unstuck!

The next time you find yourself blaming, find your solution in the change equation. Experience a different result by changing yourself.

Becky,
Sister of Soul

Soul-spiration of the Week:

“Every man is the architect of his own life. He builds it just the way he wants it. However, after he has built what he wants, he sometimes decides that he doesn't like what he has built and looks for someone or something to blame instead of changing himself.” ~Sydney Madwed