And when this happens to a coworker, family member or friend, the first question that often comes to mind is, “How can I help?” The human spirit is amazing in this way; in the worst of times, something inside us stirs, and through this compassion we feel compelled to offer support, caring and love.
It’s a beautiful thing. However, to actually make a difference in the life of another, it’s important to move beyond simply asking the “how can I help” question, and shift to taking action. How do we do this when we truly don’t know what to do or what do say?
Through our own experiences and mistakes, and the advice gathered from women who’ve been there, here are some tips for helping others when the worst happens.
Stay updated: If you truly care and wish to help, stay updated with the situation in any way you can. Watch for updates on Facebook, and follow any websites that may have been set up to communicate the latest developments.
One amazing non-profit organization who is supporting families in this manner is CaringBridge. CaringBridge provides free, private websites, which can be used as a tool for families to keep everyone updated on a loved one who is experiencing a health challenge. As you can imagine, this method of communication can conserve time and emotional energy when families need it most, saving them from having to make multiple phone calls to relay the same information and answer the same questions over, and over, again.
Take action: Imagine what you might need if your household was turned upside-down, and offer support at this basic level. Provide a frozen meal, help out with the yard work, offer housekeeping services, run errands, or babysit. Transportation to treatments can give main caregivers a much needed break. It’s natural to ask, “How can I help?” Yet, with so many questions that people must face during tragic times, one more question is not what they need. You know what needs to be done; just do it. If you’re staying updated, you’ll be surprised at the many opportunities for assistance that will arise, especially if you’re watching for them.
Give of your gifts: We’ve all be given unique talents and strengths. It’s precisely in these difficult times that our talents can become true gifts. Regardless of what it is you do best, there’s surely a way to offer support in a way that makes the most of your strengths. It needn’t be anything big or complicated; the key is to offer support in a specific way. For example you might say, “I know right now __________ must be a challenge and I’m good at that. If you would like, I could help by handling _________?”
Offer specific prayer: “I’m praying for you,” is a common statement made during difficult times, and if you make the offer, give it real power by making it specific. “I’m praying for your procedure on Thursday,” for example, makes your offer much more credible and shows that you’ve been making every effort to follow the latest developments as they unfold. As small as this may seem, it’s an authentic demonstration of your love and caring.
Watch your words: Take great care in how you choose your words at this time. “It’s God’s plan,” or “Everything happens for a reason,” do not offer comfort and can be devastatingly painful to hear. Many who have been there confirm that actions speak louder than words in times like these. And, listening can often provide more comfort than anything you could ever say. When words are needed; “I’m sorry,” and “I love you,” while simple, often provide the most comfort and strength.
If you have any dos and don’ts, based on difficult times you’ve experienced, please share them in the comment area below as a way to help us all be the strongest supporters possible to those we love. And, please print, bookmark, or pin this post for future reference. You never know when tragedy will befall someone you care about and with this guide you can lead an effort of real and helpful support.
The Soul Sisters
Soulspiration of the Week:“I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.” ~Edward Everett Hale
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