How to Help When the Worst Happens

Life if full of blessings, yet one thing is inevitable; tragedies and challenges can strike at any time.  Financial challenges, the loss of a job, a distressing health diagnosis, or the death of a loved one, can be devastating for even the strongest and faithful of individuals. 

And when this happens to a coworker, family member or friend, the first question that often comes to mind is, “How can I help?”  The human spirit is amazing in this way; in the worst of times, something inside us stirs, and through this compassion we feel compelled to offer support, caring and love.
 
It’s a beautiful thing.  However, to actually make a difference in the life of another, it’s important to move beyond simply asking the “how can I help” question, and shift to taking action.  How do we do this when we truly don’t know what to do or what do say? 

Through our own experiences and mistakes, and the advice gathered from women who’ve been there, here are some tips for helping others when the worst happens.

Stay updated: If you truly care and wish to help, stay updated with the situation in any way you can.  Watch for updates on Facebook, and follow any websites that may have been set up to communicate the latest developments.

One amazing non-profit organization who is supporting families in this manner is CaringBridge.  CaringBridge provides free, private websites, which can be used as a tool for families to keep everyone updated on a loved one who is experiencing a health challenge.  As you can imagine, this method of communication can conserve time and emotional energy when families need it most, saving them from having to make multiple phone calls to relay the same information and answer the same questions over, and over, again.
 
Take action: Imagine what you might need if your household was turned upside-down, and offer support at this basic level.  Provide a frozen meal, help out with the yard work, offer housekeeping services, run errands, or babysit.  Transportation to treatments can give main caregivers a much needed break.  It’s natural to ask, “How can I help?”  Yet, with so many questions that people must face during tragic times, one more question is not what they need.  You know what needs to be done; just do it.  If you’re staying updated, you’ll be surprised at the many opportunities for assistance that will arise, especially if you’re watching for them.

Give of your gifts: We’ve all be given unique talents and strengths.  It’s precisely in these difficult times that our talents can become true gifts.  Regardless of what it is you do best, there’s surely a way to offer support in a way that makes the most of your strengths.  It needn’t be anything big or complicated; the key is to offer support in a specific way.  For example you might say, “I know right now __________ must be a challenge and I’m good at that.  If you would like, I could help by handling _________?”

Offer specific prayer: “I’m praying for you,” is a common statement made during difficult times, and if you make the offer, give it real power by making it specific.  “I’m praying for your procedure on Thursday,” for example, makes your offer much more credible and shows that you’ve been making every effort to follow the latest developments as they unfold.  As small as this may seem, it’s an authentic demonstration of your love and caring.

Watch your words: Take great care in how you choose your words at this time.  “It’s God’s plan,” or “Everything happens for a reason,” do not offer comfort and can be devastatingly painful to hear.  Many who have been there confirm that actions speak louder than words in times like these.  And, listening can often provide more comfort than anything you could ever say.  When words are needed; “I’m sorry,” and “I love you,” while simple, often provide the most comfort and strength.

If you have any dos and don’ts, based on difficult times you’ve experienced, please share them in the comment area below as a way to help us all be the strongest supporters possible to those we love.  And, please print, bookmark, or pin this post for future reference.  You never know when tragedy will befall someone you care about and with this guide you can lead an effort of real and helpful support.

The Soul Sisters

Soulspiration of the Week:“I am only one, but I am one.  I cannot do everything, but I can do something.  And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.”   ~Edward Everett Hale

Who Do You Think You Are: Four Strategies for Self-Awareness

Ask a woman to describe who she is and you'll often hear her describe herself in terms of her current title or role (wife, mother, daughter, etc.) or career (manager, accountant, nurse, etc.).  Come on, we're so much more than that!
 
When it comes to self-awareness, we're our own expert!  Being clear about who you are, what you want, and why you want it, empowers you to consciously and actively make those wants a reality.  We can't rely on our spouse, family, work and society to tell us who we are!  What we need is a clear direction; a feel for our own true north.  Armed with that awareness, it suddenly becomes easier to side-step the drama, steer clear of the confusion, and step through your fear to the life you were meant to live.  

We’ve found these four strategies especially helpful to the self-awareness process:

1. Know your purpose: Wandering through life hoping you'll stumble upon health, happiness and prosperity leaves too much to chance.  Where does your true self want to go in life? What legacy do you want to leave behind?  Where do you want to make a difference?  If it's been a while since you've put any thought into what your purpose is for your life, it might take some time to tune in once again. Your true "purpose" resides in your soul and to discover yours you need not only intellectual contemplation but a connection with your intuitive self as well. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.  Tap into your personal power, pick a direction that represents genuine happiness, and move toward it.

2. Know your passions: What would life be without our passions?  And yet, we find that many women toss their passionate pursuits aside, wrongly believing they are not important.  It's amazing what we let come between us and our dreams.  If you've always wondered what it would be like, not to wait around for the good things in life to come to you, but to actually go out and get what you want out of life, focusing on your passions is the first step in that process.  As we like to say, our passions run deep.  Stop waiting for "someday" and make your "someday" today.

3. Honor your strengths: Have you ever wished for a super power?  Maybe the ability to leap tall buildings or become instantly invisible would come in handy?  Well each of us possesses talents and strengths unique to us that allow us to contribute something special to the world.  We tend to take these abilities for granted but it's time to start thinking of your strengths and talents as your own super powers!
 

An amazing resource for identifying your core strengths is Tom Rath's book, StrengthsFinder 2.0.  A life-changing book for us, it was amazingly powerful to see our unique abilities on paper, allowing us to put into words what we could before only sense and feel, let alone explain.  Pick up a copy and discover your strengths!  It will change your perspective in a big way! 

4. Write a mission: Businesses do it all the time and for good reason.  Something truly powerful happens when you put your purpose into writing.  Suddenly doors open to you and opportunities just show up.  Where there was once struggle and never-ending challenge, now there seems to be a shift in energy and things flow easily and effortlessly.  Putting pen to paper focuses your subconscious in a specific and targeted direction, declaring to the universe your desires and ultimate goal.  Nothing screams authenticity like putting your mission in writing.

Kim,

Sister of Soul 

Soulspiration of the Week:

“Our job in this lifetime is not to shape ourselves into some ideal we imagine we ought to be, but to find out who we already are and become it.”  ~Steven Pressfield

Are You Making the Grade?

We are all familiar with the concept of being graded for the efforts we put forth in school. When you took a test you expected a grade as a result. You also received grades for things other than the display of your knowledge in a certain subject. In the early years you may have received a gold star for finishing an assignment, regardless of how accurate your answers were. A value was often times given for class participation, effort, and your respect toward classmates and classroom equipment, for example. Those grades were recorded, compiled, and sent home periodically in the form of a report card. Report card day was either looked forward to, or dreaded, depending on how you performed as a student.

It seems the idea of giving out grades hasn’t stopped at students. Now it’s being applied to teachers. It wasn’t long ago that politicians, parents and school administrations developed the idea of grading how well of a job our teachers are doing. Whether that idea sparked the next to receive a report card I don’t know…but this week I read that parents could be next in line to receive a letter grade for their efforts and involvement in their child’s education.

The grading system is a powerful tool. It’s there in black and white….there is no longer a question of how you are doing; you either excel, need to put forth more effort, or you are smack dab in the middle; an average student. Bottom line….you know where you stand, what you have to work on, where your strengths lie, whether or not your hard work had paid off, and whether you’ve shown improvement.

So let’s see….how do our report cards stack up? In the subjects of FAMILY, SELF, GOALS, MONEY, and WORK, give yourself a grade: A, B, C, D or F. Be sure to take some time and really be honest with yourself. Are you excelling in any one area? Do you need to work a little harder on another? Maybe you are just riding the fine line of mediocrity; doing just enough to get by? Are you satisfied with your grades or do you feel you need to make some changes? It sometimes doesn’t take much effort to make some small improvements.

And, don’t forget that Gold Star. You deserve extra credit for participation, attempting something new, or taking steps toward a goal! Sometimes it’s the Gold Stars, that when added together make the difference between an F or an A+.

Jenny,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:

"Life is an error-making and an error-correcting process, and nature in marking man's papers will grade him for wisdom as measured both by survival and by the quality of life of those who survive."  ~Jonas Salk

Face Your Light

One of the few plants I have sits on my kitchen window sill. It has always loved that spot as it gets plenty of southern sun there. Every few days though I need to give that plant a full turn. As most of us know, a plant’s foliage cheerfully grows towards the sun. And unless you want a crooked plant you need to spin it every now and then. Plants turn their attention constantly towards the light to reap the full benefits of the sun. This natural process is very important for the plant to grow and reproduce.

We are born with this same innate tendency to turn our attention to light. It is natural for us to be drawn to positive emotion; joy, happiness, gratitude. But as we go through life we are constantly trained in noticing what’s wrong. We focus on areas of our lives that need improvement instead. We put attention on our children’s weaknesses, notice the annoyances in our friends, and criticize our spouses.

But just as plants need to focus towards the light in order to grow, so do we. Constantly putting our attention on negativity can hinder our growth towards living our best life.

Gratitude is a perfect way of bringing all our life’s gifts to our attention. It’s simplistic enough for everyone to understand and it’s easy enough to start today! When we consciously think about all that we have to be thankful for we retrain ourselves to notice all that is right, instead of all that is wrong. Even though gratitude is quite a simple idea, it isn’t effortless. It requires diligence and practice to create a gratuitous life!

So start an attitude of gratitude today and face your light!

Becky,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~Howard Thurman

Every Day is a Talent Show

Yes, I admit it. I’m a sucker for a talent show and the popularity of programs like America’s Got Talent keep me glued to the television. It’s interesting to see what people find entertaining and what the judges will have the patience to sit through.

But that’s not really why I watch. I’m looking for something different. It’s what you will see in acts like Susan Boyle , and most recently Kevin Skinner. If you haven’t seen their performances yet, you’re in the minority. Click on their names above and check them out now (trust me, they're worth it), and then read on…

I don’t know about you, but every time I watch their performances I am moved to tears. If we break it down blow-by-blow, here’s what we see. First, enter stage right; nothing special to look at, pretty average, right? Then they open their mouths for the first time for a little back and forth banter with the judges; again, not what was expected and you feel the judges, the audience, and maybe even yourself, begin to make your first judgments, preparing for the big “X”! Although you’re not physically there, you can feel the negatively charged energy exude through the television.

Then the performance begins and a hush spreads through the crowd. It’s as if everyone in the auditorium has been hit in the face with a big glass of ice water. It’s shock, it’s delight, it’s amazing! Suddenly the judgments made by the judges, the audience, and ourselves, begin to change. Where we first saw uncouth, unsophisticated and unrefined, now transforms into elegance, grace and pure passion, seemingly right before our eyes! Their outward appearances fall away in layers; we no longer notice her unibrow and outdated dress, or his scruffy face and raggedy attire. We’re riveted as they shine in that moment.

It appears to come so easy for them, doesn’t it? Their talent just pours out of them, seemingly without effort. Yet we’re shocked that instead of sharing their God-given talent with the world each day, they were living life as care-givers, cat-lovers, and chicken-catchers. But no more, the real-them has been revealed and they can’t hide any more, nor could they bottle their passions back up inside themselves even if they tried. From this day forward they live life as the soul they were meant to be; singers, performers and composers. Can you imagine what that must feel like? Bliss? Joy? Freedom? Yes!

Have you been living life as a Susan or a Kevin, suppressing your true calling and living life safe, small and average? So you can’t carry a tune and you have no desire to perform in front of an audience; that’s not the point. No matter what your talent, your strengths or your God-given gifts, you can experience the same sense of joy and freedom by living them daily. Every day is your talent show; what will you perform?

Kim, Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” ~Marianne Williamson