The Effects of Fear Can Be Scary

Fear can be complicated and range from worry to phobia and all points in between.  We all have times in our lives when we are gripped by fear.  It's natural and thanks to fear and "fight or flight" the reason we're still surviving on the plant.  But there are times when fear creeps into our everyday life like a goblin, trapping us in negative thinking and self-talk, and paralyzing us from taking the steps towards a better life.

That's when it's time to regain your personal power and the 5 tips below can show you how!

1. Fear is a talented trickster.  Our fears trick us into believing they are based on fact, when in actuality most of our fear lives in the future.  Usually fear is about something that "might" happen, not something that we definitely-know-for-sure will.  Maintain a focus on the present and when fear sets in ask yourself, "Is there anything for me to be afraid of at this very moment in time?"  The answer will surprise and relieve you!

2. Fear is just an emotion and just like any emotion, it can control us if we give it the power.  Irrational fear is an overblown imagination of what might happen in the future.  When you are afraid that your plane will crash, it is just an emotion not the crash itself that frightens you.  Recognizing this will render your fear powerless.

3. Fear is always about loss; loss of life, loss of wealth, loss of security, loss of comfort, etc.  The fear of loss is directly proportionate to the intensity of the attachment you have.  Dissect your fear or worry down to what you fear will be lost and ask yourself, "If this fear came true, what is the worst thing that can happen?"  Often you will find that your worst case scenario is a long shot and your fear can be easily overcome with the right plan of action and safeguards.

4. Fear is present only when there is a desire.  Fear arises only when there is conflict between what we want and what "might" happen.  We build up expectations around life and come up with a concrete picture of how our lives "should" turn out.  This inflexibility forms a strong foundation for fear.  If we are open to new possibilities and a new vision of safety, comfort and success, we can be courageous.  When we flow with life, fears dissolve.  When you find yourself wracked with fear, ask yourself, "Why should I resist this?"  You may find the strength to let go and flow.

5. Beliefs about fear can be transformed.  The scariest thing about fear is the effect it has on our lives.  For many, it is fear that stands between us, and the best that life has to offer.  It is possible however, to change how we look at fear.  Instead of a barrier standing in our way, what if we chose to look at fear differently and really challenge our deepest beliefs about fear?  Instead of thinking of fear as bad, consider the benefits we experience because of it.  For example, fears like reaching into a burning fire, walking across thin ice, or driving under the influence are valid; these warnings should be heeded.  However, most of our fears are based on worst-case scenarios that we fabricate in our head.  Choose to adopt new and empowering beliefs about fear and you will find it easier to overcome them.

The Soul Sisters

Soulspiration of the Week:Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them.  ~Brendan Francis

16 Empowered Beliefs to Conquer Your Fears

Here we are, into October; the time of the harvest, leaf season, and Halloween.  Perhaps you've been busy planning your party costume, or at the very least preparing for the ghouls and goblins soon to be knocking on your door for a trick-or-treat.

Well we've got a trick-or-treat of our own this month.  Since October is the month of all that is scary, we couldn't think of a better theme for the month than "fear".  When it comes to obstacles, fear is the most common one to be overcome when pursuing a passion, dream, or goal.  That makes facing our fears and overcoming them an important skill to learn.

Between this blog and our Living Empowered blog on Area Voices, we'll be offering our insights on fear over the coming few weeks.

First up, we've got a "treat" for you...

What if we challenged our beliefs about fear and looked at this natural emotion differently?  What would happen if we thought of fear as merely another obstacle that must be overcome?  Just as with obstacles like time and money, we must challenge our limiting beliefs about fear and adopt new and empowered ways of thinking.  This important shift will take you from fearful to powerful!

Yes, an important part of conquering our fear is shifting our beliefs, and we are offering a colorful and fun reminder of the empowering beliefs you can choose to adopt when faced by fear in your life.  To get your copy of "From Fearful to Powerful: 16 Empowered Beliefs to Conquer Your Fears", become a follower of Soulspring Empowerment Groups for Women on Facebook and visit our "Empowerment & Fun" tab (below our page's profile image).  There you can print a copy as our gift to you.  Reference it each time you find yourself living a fear-based life instead of a fear-less one!

The Soul Sisters

Soulspiration of the Week:
"Fear is the cheapest room in the house.  I would like to see you living in better conditions."  ~Hāfez

From Fearful to Powerful: 16 Quotations to Conquer Your Fear

There’s no denying there is power in words.  That’s why at Soulspring Groups we believe an inspiring quote has the ability to empower, encourage, and uplift, even when all else has failed.  If you’ve ever been held back by fear, and who among us hasn’t, you’ll want to keep these 16 quotations close at hand.

The next time you’re tempted to let fear get the best of you, let an opportunity pass you by, give up a passion because of the “what if’s”, read these wise words from those who looked fear in the face and did it anyway.  Consider each your Soulspiration of the Week...

“You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.”  ~Mary Manin Morrissey

“Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop.”  ~Usman B. Asif

“Panic at the thought of doing a thing is a challenge to do it.”  ~Henry S. Haskins

“Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them.”  ~Brendan Francis

“Fear has a large shadow, but he himself is small.”  ~Ruth Gendler

“Fear:  False Evidence Appearing Real.”  ~Author Unknown

“Anything I've ever done that ultimately was worthwhile... initially scared me to death.”  ~Betty Bender

“I have accepted fear as a part of life - specifically the fear of change.... I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says:  turn back.”  ~Erica Jong

“Fear is the cheapest room in the house.  I would like to see you living in better conditions.”  ~Hāfez

“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.”

“He who is not every day conquering some fear, has not learned the secret of life.”  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.”  ~Marianne Williamson

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”  ~Joseph Campbell

“You are frightened of everything. You call it caution. You call it common sense. You call it practicality. You call it playing the odds, but that's only because you're afraid to call it by its real name, and its real name is fear.”  ~Mick Farren

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by each experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”  ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

“You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind.”  ~Dale Carnegie

Do you have a favorite piece of wisdom that's inspired you in times of fear?  Please share it in the comment area below and help us grow our Fearful to Powerful collection!

The Soul Sisters

Women’s Empowerment: You’re Empowered If...

We’ve been blogging for over three years now and we’ve tackled the question of, “What is empowerment?” many times. However, would you truly recognize an empowered woman if you saw one? Odds are you probably wouldn’t; not entirely anyway.

At Soulspring Groups (the meetings, the gatherings and all the events), empowerment is a common topic of conversation. When asked about empowered women, you’re probably as quick as most to list off a slew of names; women you know, women you admire, women you aspire to be. Yet one important person is likely to be left off the list, and that person is YOU.

So we ask you...Would you recognize an empowered woman if you saw one? What behaviors do they exhibit? What traits do they possess? More importantly, are you one?

As the old adage goes, seeing is believing. Are you living empowered?  Check yourself against these ten examples of empowering qualities and behaviors and see just how empowered you really are.

You are empowered if...

• You recognize the fear and do it anyway. Why would we let a little thing like fear hold us back from what we want in life? After all, the key to overcoming our fears is to just stop it!

• You learn something new every day. The world is full of adventure and there’s a lesson around every corner.

• You believe that you have the potential to achieve great things. In the words of the great Dr. Seuss, “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You."

• You display patience and accept divine timing. We once heard Echkart Tolle, author of such great books as “The Power of Now” and “A New Earth” say, “Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at this moment.”  Well said!

• You welcome each day with enthusiasm and excitement. Each day is a gift after all; is there really any other way to accept something so special?

• You accept challenges as opportunities for strength and character building. Heck, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, right?

• You squash the negative self-talk and speak only positive and affirming statements. Our positivity is what fuels us and makes us shine! That’s why we offer a new positive affirmation with every visit to the Soulspring Groups’ website!

• You begin your day with a ritual such as quiet journaling, meditation or prayer. Silence, personal reflection and time spent connecting to our Creator, keeps us focused and centered on the bigger picture.

• You believe above all else that you have what it takes. How cruel of a joke to be given a deep desire with no way to achieve it. No, we’ve got everything we need, or at least have access to it, if we stay focused and conscious. While it may not come to us exactly as we envision, our passions will be realized in wonderful ways if we keep the faith and believe.

• You take time for regular personal development and the exploration of important life principles. For a growing number of women, that means being active in their Soulspring Group. If you’re not yet part of this inspiring trend, you’ll want to learn more about joining a Soulspring Group or starting one of your own today.

The Soul Sisters

Soulspiration of the Week:

"By conquering your challenges, taking control of your thoughts, listening to your soul and uniting with others like you, you can bestow your unique gifts and talents unto the world. When your strengths and spirit meet that's when you achieve a level of true empowerment!" ~The Soul Sisters

A Brick is usually not Small Stuff

I caught myself this week! All this talk about worry, fear, and anxiety this month . . . I should’ve seen it coming. I should have detected the signs . . . An upcoming deadline, and approaching meeting that I feared was going to have a bad outcome, friends having a disagreement, and a list of To-Do’s a mile long. I had developed a knot in my stomach and my shoulders felt a bit heavy; physical conditions that had it written all over them. And, my patience was wearing thin; I admit it, I was a tad bit crabby. It is all so clear now as I look back over the course of the last week; I was becoming consumed by worry and fear of not getting everything done, wanting to fix my friend’s relationship, and hoping for a certain outcome from the meeting.

Then, I got lucky and received “my brick”. I refer to it as “my brick” ever since this story was shared with me many years ago.

An executive was driving down a neighborhood street in his new expensive car. He was in a hurry talking on his cell phone. Suddenly, he saw children playing on the side of the road. He muttered something about “stupid kids” to himself as he slowed down.

Then, he heard a thud. Something had hit the side of his car. He slammed on brakes and jumped out of the car. He saw a dent in the car door and a brick lying on the street. The man turned toward the kids and shouted, “Who threw that brick?” Fixing that dent is going to be expensive!” He was furious.

A child, a young boy stepped forward. The child was shaking and he was crying. “I threw the brick. I needed you to stop. No one would stop to help me. My little bother rolled off the sidewalk and fell out of his wheel chair. He is hurt and I can’t lift him up. I need some help. Will you help me?”

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat; he bent over, picked up the child, helped him back in the wheel chair, and wiped off his cuts and scrapes. As he watched the older boy push his brother down the sidewalk, the man slouched back towards his car. He looked at the dent – and made a promised to himself that he would leave that dent in the car as long as he owned it. The dent would remind him to slow down and not be consumed by all the demands of his life, to be on the lookout– and to listen - to listen to the voice of God. The man thought, sometimes God whispers to our souls, whispers to our hearts. But He sometimes needs to use a brick to get our attention.

This week “My brick” hit me in the form of my kids. They were discussing something that had happened that day at school. Middle school kid stuff that I remember was so very hard to process at that age. At that exact moment “my brick” struck me. . . My kids were struggling with this and I had to help them makes some sort of sense of it.

I quickly pulled something from my mental file cabinet that I remembered from the best-selling book “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” by Richard Carlson. I asked the kids if this situation would be just as important a week from now, a month from now, or a year from now. As they were both chewing on what it was I just said . . . I caught a glimpse of myself in the rearview mirror and something told me that I hadn’t just said what I said just for my kids’ benefit. I took those words to heart myself and realized that I had gotten caught up in the worry of things that were either out of my control, or may possibly never happen. Not so surprisingly I noticed the pit in my stomach was gone and the weight was lifted off my shoulders a short time later.

Pay attention, listen, and watch out for flying bricks.

Jenny
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:
If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today. ~ E. Joseph Cossman

How To Overcome Your Fear: Stop It!

We’re often asked about overcoming fear and that makes total sense when you consider that fear is the most common obstacle to be conquered when pursuing a passion, dream, or goal. Empowered women know that when we succumb to our fears that we give our power away. That makes facing our fears and overcoming them an important skill to learn.

This classic Mad TV-Bob Newhart video offers some tongue in cheek advice for overcoming your fears and personal shortcomings. Bob’s advice; Stop It!

Good for a laugh and admittedly simplistic, there are still some nuggets of wisdom amongst the humor. Bear with us as we break them down for you…

1. Fear is based in our imagination: While our fears can feel very real to us, often times we’ve never actually experienced what we’re most afraid of. Only eight percent of our fears are actually realized, making ninety-two percent of the energy spent on our fears wasted. We can be disappointed, regretful and unhappy of the things that have happened in our past. At this very moment we’re currently experiencing the present, which hopefully isn’t too scary. That brings us to the future, where our fears reside. It’s what we imagine might happen that makes us most afraid. Our fear hasn’t actually happened; making it essentially non-existent! That realization alone can lighten our fears and lead to an important shift in power.

2. Are we making things too complicated: Most of us believe that overcoming our fears means following a complicated self-help regimen or difficult course of therapy. What if we challenged that belief and instead adopted a simple and straight-forward approach to managing our fears? Is it possible that five minutes of personal straight-talk, and a conscious decision and desire to “feel” our fear but live our best life anyway, is all that’s really necessary? There’s only one way to find out and that’s to give it a try!

3. Don’t go there: Playing the “blame game” doesn’t serve us, and certainly doesn’t lead to overcoming our fears. Reclaim your power and instead make a choice. The decision is yours; will you live a fear-based life or a fear-less one?

4. We all have fears: Life in general is the great equalizer, and nobody comes out of it unscathed as they say. Regardless of our sex, race, creed or hair color, we all have fears, issues and problems to overcome.

5. Nobody likes change: When you boil it all down, what we really fear is change. Whether good or bad, we would rather stick with our current reality than risk the unknown. View change as an adventure and live the life you want, not the life you fear.

So there we have it, and just like Bob, in less than five minutes. Only have a twenty? Never fear, that was at no charge!

Kim
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do”. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt