The Effects of Fear Can Be Scary

Fear can be complicated and range from worry to phobia and all points in between.  We all have times in our lives when we are gripped by fear.  It's natural and thanks to fear and "fight or flight" the reason we're still surviving on the plant.  But there are times when fear creeps into our everyday life like a goblin, trapping us in negative thinking and self-talk, and paralyzing us from taking the steps towards a better life.

That's when it's time to regain your personal power and the 5 tips below can show you how!

1. Fear is a talented trickster.  Our fears trick us into believing they are based on fact, when in actuality most of our fear lives in the future.  Usually fear is about something that "might" happen, not something that we definitely-know-for-sure will.  Maintain a focus on the present and when fear sets in ask yourself, "Is there anything for me to be afraid of at this very moment in time?"  The answer will surprise and relieve you!

2. Fear is just an emotion and just like any emotion, it can control us if we give it the power.  Irrational fear is an overblown imagination of what might happen in the future.  When you are afraid that your plane will crash, it is just an emotion not the crash itself that frightens you.  Recognizing this will render your fear powerless.

3. Fear is always about loss; loss of life, loss of wealth, loss of security, loss of comfort, etc.  The fear of loss is directly proportionate to the intensity of the attachment you have.  Dissect your fear or worry down to what you fear will be lost and ask yourself, "If this fear came true, what is the worst thing that can happen?"  Often you will find that your worst case scenario is a long shot and your fear can be easily overcome with the right plan of action and safeguards.

4. Fear is present only when there is a desire.  Fear arises only when there is conflict between what we want and what "might" happen.  We build up expectations around life and come up with a concrete picture of how our lives "should" turn out.  This inflexibility forms a strong foundation for fear.  If we are open to new possibilities and a new vision of safety, comfort and success, we can be courageous.  When we flow with life, fears dissolve.  When you find yourself wracked with fear, ask yourself, "Why should I resist this?"  You may find the strength to let go and flow.

5. Beliefs about fear can be transformed.  The scariest thing about fear is the effect it has on our lives.  For many, it is fear that stands between us, and the best that life has to offer.  It is possible however, to change how we look at fear.  Instead of a barrier standing in our way, what if we chose to look at fear differently and really challenge our deepest beliefs about fear?  Instead of thinking of fear as bad, consider the benefits we experience because of it.  For example, fears like reaching into a burning fire, walking across thin ice, or driving under the influence are valid; these warnings should be heeded.  However, most of our fears are based on worst-case scenarios that we fabricate in our head.  Choose to adopt new and empowering beliefs about fear and you will find it easier to overcome them.

The Soul Sisters

Soulspiration of the Week:Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them.  ~Brendan Francis

16 Empowered Beliefs to Conquer Your Fears

Here we are, into October; the time of the harvest, leaf season, and Halloween.  Perhaps you've been busy planning your party costume, or at the very least preparing for the ghouls and goblins soon to be knocking on your door for a trick-or-treat.

Well we've got a trick-or-treat of our own this month.  Since October is the month of all that is scary, we couldn't think of a better theme for the month than "fear".  When it comes to obstacles, fear is the most common one to be overcome when pursuing a passion, dream, or goal.  That makes facing our fears and overcoming them an important skill to learn.

Between this blog and our Living Empowered blog on Area Voices, we'll be offering our insights on fear over the coming few weeks.

First up, we've got a "treat" for you...

What if we challenged our beliefs about fear and looked at this natural emotion differently?  What would happen if we thought of fear as merely another obstacle that must be overcome?  Just as with obstacles like time and money, we must challenge our limiting beliefs about fear and adopt new and empowered ways of thinking.  This important shift will take you from fearful to powerful!

Yes, an important part of conquering our fear is shifting our beliefs, and we are offering a colorful and fun reminder of the empowering beliefs you can choose to adopt when faced by fear in your life.  To get your copy of "From Fearful to Powerful: 16 Empowered Beliefs to Conquer Your Fears", become a follower of Soulspring Empowerment Groups for Women on Facebook and visit our "Empowerment & Fun" tab (below our page's profile image).  There you can print a copy as our gift to you.  Reference it each time you find yourself living a fear-based life instead of a fear-less one!

The Soul Sisters

Soulspiration of the Week:
"Fear is the cheapest room in the house.  I would like to see you living in better conditions."  ~Hāfez

Don't Wait Until Tomorrow...

Certainly you've heard the saying, "Never put off till tomorrow, what you can do today." Wise words by Thomas Jefferson and very true.  We never know what the future will hold or how much time we really have.  Yet many of us are doing exactly that...putting off important interactions, apologies, and actions of personal empowerment, choosing to instead procrastinate, or worse, put the agendas of others before our own important work.

We questioned our Facebook community and asked them what important work they thought should never wait until tomorrow and together we came up with quite a list.  Their answers, along with our own, inspired a month-long Twitter series, which began each day with, "Don't wait until tomorrow to..."

Below is a recap of this powerful series, along with some important links to some helpful resources!  

...take one risk. Do one great thing and the universe showers you with rewards!

...call your best friend.  Go ahead, we'll wait...give them a jingle!

...tell your hubby that you love him.  PDA (public displays of affection) to a minimum please.

...take that picture.  It's digital now...snap away!

...hug your kids.  PDA away!

...put yourself at the top of your priority list.  You deserve it!

...put lotion on your heels.  They're only going to get worse!

...start eating healthier.  Baby steps are key…so why not take one today?

...get to work on your dreams.  You’re not getting any younger.

...say thank you to your parents. I’m sure they more than deserve it.

...put some money away for your future...you’ll be happy to have the financial buffer in an emergency.

...recycle...if feels great to leave a cleaner environmental footprint.

...make peace with your body. Regardless of what the future holds, love yourself today for who you are.

...use your super powers. Don’t save them for something big and challenging, let them help you today!

...get in touch with what you’re really feeling...beneath the busyness, emotional eating, etc., what’s really going on?

...quit that bad habit and don’t look back. It’s never too late to be a better you.

...clean that cluttered closet. Donate your “stuff” to charity and open yourself up to abundance in other areas of life.

...ask for what you want. Come on, you’re just as deserving and worthy as the next person!

...take a day off...just once...from everything! Don’t plan or make a list, just do whatever you wish as the mood strikes.

...put yourself first, even if it’s just for an hour. It’s not selfish; it’s self-care and it’s about getting your priorities straight.

...give yourself some quiet time and ask yourself what you're afraid of.  Take on action step toward your fear.  Face your fear with these gems.

...give yourself flowers. Whatever is in stock at the florist shop is fine; it’s all about acknowledging how special you are.

...create a plan to pay down your debt. Living within your means is empowering!

...dust off those long lost goals and fulfill your purpose! A Soulspring Group can help!

...take one risk. Do one great thing and watch the universe shower you with rewards!

...have dessert first. Being frivolous and silly will make your day!

...give someone a compliment. Not only will they feel great, but you will too!

...recognize happiness. Gratitude makes for happier people, not the other way around.

...say, “I’m sorry.”

...ask for help if you’re in need. We were put on this Earth with others for a reason.

...do something you’ve always wanted to do.

While this is quite an extensive list, we may have forgotten something!  If you've found an important item has been missed, please comment below with your additions:  "Don't wait until tomorrow to..._______________."

It looks like we've got some important work ahead of us; we better get busy! 

The Soul Sisters

Soulspiration of the Week:

"Warning! Dates in calendar are closer than they appear." ~Anonymous

Be Your Own Columbus: Your Greatest Discovery Awaits

In the U.S., the second Monday in October is the observance of Columbus Day.  Back in 1492 Columbus planned to sail to Asia from Europe by going west.  It was by accident that he stumbled upon America.  Imagine setting out for one goal, only to stumble across another.  Makes one wonder, how many opportunities are waiting for you, waiting to be discovered, even if only by accident? 

Let's face it, no matter how great things are in our lives, there are still some aspects we would like to change.  A strengthened relationship, a more rewarding career, increased health, or the achievement of a passion or goal, are just a few examples we hear time and again.  Yet setting out on a journey of self-discovery can be a scary thing.  It's natural to let ourselves be content with the way things are.  We get comfortable, and avoid making a change for fear that the end result might be worse than our current reality.

However, by avoiding the exploration of new and unchartered territory in our lives, we limit ourselves in achieving and experiencing our life's fullest potential.  We are robbing ourselves of the opportunities intended for us, and in turn changing the person we were created and meant to be in the process.

This week embark on a journey of exploration and set out on an adventure to a new world of you!  It all starts with a map (how else would we know where we're headed?) and all successful people have a definite purpose in life that serves as a guide.  They know what that purpose is, they have it defined, written down, and committed to memory...in the form of a Mission Statement.

Your personal mission statement should define what's important to you (your goals, values and priorities), specify how you intend to make your vision a reality (your endeavors), and embody what needs you serve by doing so (your purpose).  A great personal mission statement is one that inspires you, motivates you, and offers you the opportunity for continued happiness and fulfillment.

While writing a mission statement that truly resonates with you may take some time and commitment, at its core developing yours consists of asking yourself just one question: Why do you feel you were put on this earth? 

Document your thoughts on this question in a journal and be as specific as you can in your answer.  This single discovery is the foundation for all future mission statement work.  Digging deep into your true self and discovering the secrets to who you are and who you are meant to be, may just be the greatest discovery of your life.

The Soul Sisters

Soulspiration of the Week:The greatest explorer on this earth never takes voyages as long as those of the man who descends to the depth of his heart.  ~Julien Green

Why Super Heroes Don't have Snarls

While combing my 6-year-old daughter’s hair the other night, she irritably asked why she had so many snarls in her hair.  Obviously the detangler wasn’t working.  I explained that it’s just the price she’ll have to pay if she wants long hair.  After a moment of thought she said, “Well how come Wonder Woman doesn’t have snarls?”

Wonder Woman doesn’t have snarls?  This was complete news to me.  Why wouldn’t she have snarls from time to time?  Don’t we all?

So I had to ask, “Why doesn’t Wonder Woman have snarls?” 

“Because she would use her super powers against them,” my youngster replied quickly.

This isn’t the first time my daughter has taken my long-standing limiting beliefs, and presented them to me in a new and fresh way.  It’s one of the things I love most about her and is a little like a refreshing slap in the face.

After some thought I realized she was right; it would make complete sense that Wonder Woman would use her super powers in every way possible; from the biggest of rescue missions to the littlest of knotted hair. 

(Do you feel an analogy coming on here?  Of course you do!)

We all have our own unique set of super powers, but how often do we really use them?  Do you tend to keep them secret, saving them for something truly worthwhile?  Or maybe for you it’s the opposite; when you see a BIG opportunity to show off your stuff, you freak out and sink out of sight?

Your super powers are unique and special to you; a gift for you to use.  They won’t run out or deplete with regular use, in fact it’s just the opposite.  The more you use your unique set of strengths and talents, the stronger these super power gifts become!  What a waste to not use them frequently and to their full potential!

Becky,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:
“Hide not your talents, they for use were made. What's a sundial in the shade?” ~Benjamin Franklin