Why Super Heroes Don't have Snarls

While combing my 6-year-old daughter’s hair the other night, she irritably asked why she had so many snarls in her hair.  Obviously the detangler wasn’t working.  I explained that it’s just the price she’ll have to pay if she wants long hair.  After a moment of thought she said, “Well how come Wonder Woman doesn’t have snarls?”

Wonder Woman doesn’t have snarls?  This was complete news to me.  Why wouldn’t she have snarls from time to time?  Don’t we all?

So I had to ask, “Why doesn’t Wonder Woman have snarls?” 

“Because she would use her super powers against them,” my youngster replied quickly.

This isn’t the first time my daughter has taken my long-standing limiting beliefs, and presented them to me in a new and fresh way.  It’s one of the things I love most about her and is a little like a refreshing slap in the face.

After some thought I realized she was right; it would make complete sense that Wonder Woman would use her super powers in every way possible; from the biggest of rescue missions to the littlest of knotted hair. 

(Do you feel an analogy coming on here?  Of course you do!)

We all have our own unique set of super powers, but how often do we really use them?  Do you tend to keep them secret, saving them for something truly worthwhile?  Or maybe for you it’s the opposite; when you see a BIG opportunity to show off your stuff, you freak out and sink out of sight?

Your super powers are unique and special to you; a gift for you to use.  They won’t run out or deplete with regular use, in fact it’s just the opposite.  The more you use your unique set of strengths and talents, the stronger these super power gifts become!  What a waste to not use them frequently and to their full potential!

Becky,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:
“Hide not your talents, they for use were made. What's a sundial in the shade?” ~Benjamin Franklin

A New Self-Care Motivation

I had the most amazing “ah-ha” moment a few weeks ago while I was attending the “I Can Do It” conference in Tampa. Although I had several of these moments at the conference, I feel most compelled to share this one. I can see how it really relates to all of us as women (and especially as mothers) as we tend to fall more into the category of “giving” rather than “receiving”.

My moment of enlightenment happened during a break-out session with author, coach and speaker Cheryl Richardson. She asked the audience what seemed to be a simple question, “How many of you feel you would have had better childhoods if your own mother would have devoted more time to her personal self-care?” And the hands went up. As I looked around the room of a couple hundred people there were only a handful that did not have their hands raised.

Wow, I had never thought about it that way! When asked about self-care I’m quick to say, “Oh, yeah, that’s so important.” But I’m sure I’m not alone in that my own time seems to come last; after the cooking, cleaning, homework, laundry, care-giving, etc. My own self-care is something I do when I have “extra time”, and of course there is rarely such a thing as “extra time”. So I carry on, day in and day out, not doing the self-giving activities that would rejuvenate my patience, happiness, spirit, and overall mood.

I knew self-care was important, but never really thought it was THAT important. Now, for the first time, I’m realizing that my own self-care would contribute to my children having a better childhood. As a mother, isn’t that ultimately what I want? With all the hands raised that day the chances that my children, and your children, will feel the same way if asked that question in their adulthood seems extremely likely, unless of course we change our ways.

So here I go…I’m devoting more time for myself. Perhaps a weekly bubble bath, some time spent each evening reading or writing in my journal, date night with my husband, and maybe the kids need to take more trips to Grandma’s house. It’s about time I finally make some changes in this area. My children’s happiness depends on it!

So what do you say? Who’s with me?!

Becky,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:
"When you can lovingly be present to yourself, your presence to others takes on a deeper quality also.” ~MacRina Wiederkehr

Message from my Christmas Angel

We’ve come upon it; that time of the year. Its official “The Holidays” are here. We’ve got Thanksgiving under our belt…literally, and as we round the bend toward December the big push begins. The lists of to-do’s start to grow and you now remember why you opted for the calendar with such big boxes a mere 12 months ago. Let’s face it; Christmastime is a busy time.

I was pondering that very issue last weekend. Exhausted from a day of cleaning in preparation for Thanksgiving, I couldn’t wait for the opportunity to put my feet up for the evening. I had a few dishes to wash and then I was home free. And that’s when it happened….in walked my angel. Of course I didn’t think that at the time, I certainly wasn’t expecting her. She floated in and spoke just a few words. It wasn’t exactly what she said that was so touching, but the sweet twinkle in her eye that tugged at my heart; there was something familiar about it. She opened her precious mouth to ask me one simple question, “Mom, can we put the Christmas tree up now?”

I will be the first to admit that I didn’t handle it well. Without even thinking I quickly responded, “Are you kidding? No!” And that’s when I saw the spark begin to fade. I took a deep breath and soon realized from where I had known that bright twinkle of excitement. Once upon a time I held the same elation for Christmas time. (Where did that girl go? I want her back!  I thought to myself.)  Now, she is not one to give up easily. She didn’t miss a beat and commenced the negotiations. She was quite surprised when my next answer was, “OK” and quickly skipped off happily, ready to begin the assembly process.

Sending my own angel to rescue me from the “busyness” of the Season…what He wouldn’t do.

I’m happy to report we had a wonderful Thanksgiving Day. Our family gathered with food galore not commenting on the bare, yet to be finished Christmas tree in the corner. It might look bare to the untrained eye but I see it adorned in angel kisses, bright twinkling lights, and trimmed in the magic of the Season. Thank you, Christmas Angel!

Jenny,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:
Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas. ~Peg Bracken

The Gift of Memories

As I get more seasoned as a mother I realize more and more how great my own parents are. They provided for all our needs as we grew up but always put more attention on the non-material things in life. They were constantly putting time into making memories with us over buying an over-abundance of gifts. Our Christmases from the past included caroling, tobogganing, homemade eggnog, and surprise visits from Santa. Each year was complete with a flurry of gift opening as well, but these are the memories I remember. Yes, we all want the best for our children but I think there is something to be said for a child to be raised with wanting some things that they never quite get. And for those gifts that they do get…isn’t the excitement that much more intense when a gift has been on their wish list for years prior?

As my children get older I try to parent them as my parents did my siblings and me. Instead of putting the focus on the gifts at Christmas, I try to put the focus on making memories. Memories are a funny thing though; there is no way for me to know what things my kids will remember and what they will forget. All I can do is to take the time to create memorable experiences for them and hope that they remember.

We got home at about 10:30pm on Christmas Eve, after a busy evening of church and then a family gathering. The drive home was a little treacherous, but once we made it we could appreciate the beautiful evening; calm winds, warm temps in the upper 20’s, and the hugest snowflakes coming down over our neighborhood. Now my normal routine is to hurry from the car into house while my husband unloads the kids. But this night was different as I instantly saw an opportunity to make a memory for my daughter. As we stood at the edge of the garage watching the snowfall I reached down and packed together a snowball and threw it at my husband. I’m still not sure who was more surprised, my husband or my daughter. It took a few moments for her to realize what mommy had just done. Then she let out a laugh like you’ve never heard. Before we knew it all three of us were out in the driveway throwing snowballs at each other. And there we stood, still in our dress clothes from the Christmas evening, having a snowball fight, and making a memory for my daughter.

There was so much to enjoy about this past holiday season but that was easily my highlight and I hope it’s a memory that sticks with my daughter. If not, oh well, I plan to give plenty more throughout the years!

Becky,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:
“Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.” ~From the television show The Wonder Years