A New Self-Care Motivation

I had the most amazing “ah-ha” moment a few weeks ago while I was attending the “I Can Do It” conference in Tampa. Although I had several of these moments at the conference, I feel most compelled to share this one. I can see how it really relates to all of us as women (and especially as mothers) as we tend to fall more into the category of “giving” rather than “receiving”.

My moment of enlightenment happened during a break-out session with author, coach and speaker Cheryl Richardson. She asked the audience what seemed to be a simple question, “How many of you feel you would have had better childhoods if your own mother would have devoted more time to her personal self-care?” And the hands went up. As I looked around the room of a couple hundred people there were only a handful that did not have their hands raised.

Wow, I had never thought about it that way! When asked about self-care I’m quick to say, “Oh, yeah, that’s so important.” But I’m sure I’m not alone in that my own time seems to come last; after the cooking, cleaning, homework, laundry, care-giving, etc. My own self-care is something I do when I have “extra time”, and of course there is rarely such a thing as “extra time”. So I carry on, day in and day out, not doing the self-giving activities that would rejuvenate my patience, happiness, spirit, and overall mood.

I knew self-care was important, but never really thought it was THAT important. Now, for the first time, I’m realizing that my own self-care would contribute to my children having a better childhood. As a mother, isn’t that ultimately what I want? With all the hands raised that day the chances that my children, and your children, will feel the same way if asked that question in their adulthood seems extremely likely, unless of course we change our ways.

So here I go…I’m devoting more time for myself. Perhaps a weekly bubble bath, some time spent each evening reading or writing in my journal, date night with my husband, and maybe the kids need to take more trips to Grandma’s house. It’s about time I finally make some changes in this area. My children’s happiness depends on it!

So what do you say? Who’s with me?!

Becky,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:
"When you can lovingly be present to yourself, your presence to others takes on a deeper quality also.” ~MacRina Wiederkehr

Message from my Christmas Angel

We’ve come upon it; that time of the year. Its official “The Holidays” are here. We’ve got Thanksgiving under our belt…literally, and as we round the bend toward December the big push begins. The lists of to-do’s start to grow and you now remember why you opted for the calendar with such big boxes a mere 12 months ago. Let’s face it; Christmastime is a busy time.

I was pondering that very issue last weekend. Exhausted from a day of cleaning in preparation for Thanksgiving, I couldn’t wait for the opportunity to put my feet up for the evening. I had a few dishes to wash and then I was home free. And that’s when it happened….in walked my angel. Of course I didn’t think that at the time, I certainly wasn’t expecting her. She floated in and spoke just a few words. It wasn’t exactly what she said that was so touching, but the sweet twinkle in her eye that tugged at my heart; there was something familiar about it. She opened her precious mouth to ask me one simple question, “Mom, can we put the Christmas tree up now?”

I will be the first to admit that I didn’t handle it well. Without even thinking I quickly responded, “Are you kidding? No!” And that’s when I saw the spark begin to fade. I took a deep breath and soon realized from where I had known that bright twinkle of excitement. Once upon a time I held the same elation for Christmas time. (Where did that girl go? I want her back!  I thought to myself.)  Now, she is not one to give up easily. She didn’t miss a beat and commenced the negotiations. She was quite surprised when my next answer was, “OK” and quickly skipped off happily, ready to begin the assembly process.

Sending my own angel to rescue me from the “busyness” of the Season…what He wouldn’t do.

I’m happy to report we had a wonderful Thanksgiving Day. Our family gathered with food galore not commenting on the bare, yet to be finished Christmas tree in the corner. It might look bare to the untrained eye but I see it adorned in angel kisses, bright twinkling lights, and trimmed in the magic of the Season. Thank you, Christmas Angel!

Jenny,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:
Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas. ~Peg Bracken

Get Reacquainted With Your Imagination

My four year old just entered an expressive new stage; imaginary friends. Seems as though she is very popular with these friends of the invisible sort, as she’s introduced me to about ten of them over the last week. A couple days ago I had to do everything in my power to keep from laughing as I watched her making “friends” with the knots in our dining room table. I had to be grateful though; they were very polite knots. As one knot said to the other, “Hello, my name is Evan, it’s very nice to meet you.”

At first I was a little worried thinking about how this might be a precursor to schizophrenia. As my mind wandered into the future I saw visions of critics blaming me, as the parent, for my daughter’s mental illness. But as I took a step back I realized what a special gift my four year old, and most I’m assuming, have at this age; the gift of imagination.

Children have the ability to turn a puddle into a vast ocean that takes days to cross. Or they can take the living room couch and turn it into a car, complete with front seat, back seat, and trunk. And give them a cardboard box and the possibilities are truly endless to what they can create and discover. But what happens to that imagination?

As we grow older and are faced with adult responsibilities, harsh lessons, and become more aware of reality, we lose the same kind of imagination that we all once possessed. As children, we’d fall asleep imagining all the fun things we can do the next day with the big sticks in the backyard and the old bucket in the basement. Then we’d wake up the very next day and make it happen. There was nothing holding us back. Now as adults, we daydream while stuck in traffic about our future, but just as quick as those visions come to us they are snatched away by our assumptions of what is possible.

Dr. Wayne Dyer teaches that imagination is the most important resource we have in achieving our dreams. How is it possible for us to attain something if we can’t first imagine it? Not very. We must first expand our imagination by letting our minds run wild. And then when we tap into what we really imagine for our futures, we need to believe that it is possible; question every corrupting thought you have.

And if your “imaginator” is still broke…seek out the help of a 4 year old!

Becky,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:
“Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” ~ Gloria Steinman