Spring Cleaning Tip: A Lesson from a Diaper Bag

We hit a pretty big milestone in our home last week; we threw away our diaper bag!  My 2 year old (soon to be 3) has yet to fully master the “big potty”, and apparently likes the freedom that comes with being able to “go” and play at the same time.  However, he’s taken to carrying around a little backpack, and in a recent light bulb moment, we decided that he could carry his own diapers and wipes going forward.  So, while cleaning his closet the other night, I took one look at the diaper bag and said, “It’s time.”

While to some this may not sound like a major event, but to anyone who’s lugged around the bottomless pit of necessities that accompany a baby will appreciate just how exciting this moment was.  This bag has been a member of our family for the last 3 years.  Wherever we went it had to also go.  It was our bag of “everything we will or might need to take care of our children (both of them) and any other child that might need something due to their parent being in-a-pinch”.  I was ecstatic to get rid of this thing and my husband even commented on the smile that couldn’t have been wiped from my face.  Tossing this bag was like lifting 5 pounds off my shoulder (literally).

Then the next morning, as I was taking something else out to the trash, I saw it there; all alone and cold in our trash can.  OK, so I got a little sad.  I mean this bag has been an important part of our family and has always been there to help us in our times of need.  The memories of this bag being at every major milestone for my son came flooding back; the hospital when he was born, at baptism, vacations, birthdays, holidays, and more.

So, no, I didn’t take the diaper bag out of the garbage (eww).  But, I did have to take a moment to remind myself that all those memories aren’t gone with the trash.  They are held in my mind and in my heart, not in any bag.  What I had thought was merely a milestone for my young son was a lesson of growth for me, too.  The incident inspired me to look at other things in my house a little differently – what else am I holding on to, and for what reasons? 

I have a new mental checklist while I’m cleaning now…Do I use it?  Do I love it?  Does it make me happy?  Perfect...Just in time for spring cleaning!

Becky,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:“Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.”  ~Kevin Arnold

What are the Stories You’re Telling?

You know the drill; it’s a fairly common occurrence: you’re walking down the street and you run into someone who you haven’t seen in ages.  You’re like, “Oh my gosh, it’s been forever!” and you give a quick hug.  They say, “Wow, it’s so great to see you.” And then asks…

“How’s work?”
“How’s your family?”
“How are you surviving this economy?”
“How have YOU been?”
“How have you been feeling lately?”

So what “story” do you tell?

Some tell stories of victory while others tell stories of being a victim.  We’re talking here about those stories that are more so half-truths and assumptions that are repeated over and over again – “I’m so busy.”, “I always have to be in charge.”, “If I want it done right, I have to do it myself.”, “I hate my job.”, etc.  With any negative story that you’re telling, you need to decide to make a change – either with the situation or by changing the story.

So what stories do you find yourself repeating in your life?  What do you say?  Is it about time we take you from victim to victor?

Take some time to journal about how you’d rather feel (in relation to the stories you’ve been telling).  When you remind yourself how you want to feel, you offer yourself a more empowered option than the drama that you’ve been creating. Even if you can't get there right away, make sure you know that this is where you can be if you choose it.  So how do you want to feel?  Who would you be without this story?  How would it feel to be able to move forward?   

Becky,
Sister of Soul

Soulspriration of the Week:
“As long as you think that the cause of your problem is “out there”—as long as you think that anyone or anything is responsible for your suffering—the situation is hopeless. It means that you are forever in the role of victim, that you’re suffering in paradise.” -Byron Katie

Selfish or Self-Care?

It's February, the month of love.  Of course our thoughts turn to our most precious of relationships: our spouse, our children, our parents.  But often we forget the most important relationship of all; the relationship with ourselves.

Just as our relationships with others take great care to remain strong, so do we need to show our own selves that same kind of care and compassion.  While you might expect me to suggest taking a long soak in the tub, which I must say is never a bad idea; the problem goes much deeper than that.

As women we are the nurturers, often putting the needs of others above our own.  We tend to make family and work matters our highest priority, thinking that makes us a better mother, wife, sister, employee, and friend.  The problem is that the longer we go without addressing our own needs, the more depleted we become.  Our dreams fade, our goals wither and our passions slowly dry up.  As you can imagine, this has a negative impact on us emotionally.  Often overlooked however, is the effect this behavior has on us physically, as research reveals more about the connection between belief, emotion, and disease.

What we as women need to understand is that there is a difference between "self-ish" and "self-care".  We have this one life to live and a purpose to fulfill.  By not pursuing our passions and dreams we are doing the world, those we love, and most of all ourselves, a great disservice.  That is "selfish".

By treating ourselves with respect, listening to the cues of our body, placing importance on our own dreams, and carrying out our divine assignment for our life, we are empowering ourselves at the deepest of levels.  That is "self-care".

Below are seven tips (an entire week's worth) for incorporating a little more self-care into your life this month.  Try one a day for seven days straight, and experience the difference a little self-love can make:

#1 - Know your limits.  One of the most important things you can do for yourself is to say "no".  Stretching yourself too thin and dividing your attention among multiple different tasks is not only doing a disservice to you, but negatively affects everyone close to you.  If everything is important, then nothing is important.

#2 - Live your passions.  Our passions are what make us feel alive.  If we're not devoting time and attention to those things that ignite and inspire us, our lives become dull and dreary.  Spending some time each day, even 10 minutes, on our passions or working towards an important personal goal makes us fulfilled.

#3 - Spend time alone.  How much time do you allow to just let your mind wander?  Probably not enough.  Spending time alone gives us the opportunity to let our imagination take new heights.  From what we want to do tomorrow, to what we want to do in 20 years, most of these realizations will occur when we allow ourselves time to get lost in thought.

#4 - Maintain healthy relationships.  Limit the time you spend with people who exhaust you (I think you know who we mean).  Increase the quantity and quality of the time you spend with the people who make you feel great; the ones who inspire and replenish you.  Build a supportive and positive network of confidants by starting your own Soulspring group or joining one today!

#5 - Live your values.  If we're not careful it doesn't take long before or own values are pushed to the side and suddenly, without realizing it, we begin to live our lives in alignment with the values of others.  This causes stress and we innately know something is amiss.  Make sure your own values are clear, practice them in your daily life, and consider them in your every decision.

#6 - Write in a journal.  Expressing yourself in written form can open up much clarity for us.  Take the time to write daily.  If you find it difficult to get started, use Soul Searching Questions (many can be found within this blog and we incorporate them into each issue of our Soulspiration monthly newsletter), to get you started!  Before you know it, the words with easily begin to flow.

#7 - Eat right.  What we put into our mouths is the foundation of our physical and spiritual selves.  Take care of yourself like the jewel you are; eat more fruits and vegetables and less fat, sugar, processed foods, and caffeine.

While you're showering affection on those you love this month, don't forget to give yourself a healthy dose of love.  You're definitely worth it and it is only then that you will have the energy, enthusiasm, and power you need to be and give all you can for yourself and others.

The Soul Sisters

Soulspiration of the Week:"The greatest love of all, is easy to achieve.  Learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all." ~The Greatest Love of All (Performed by Whitney Houston, and in her memory)

5 Ways to Live Life from the Front Row

Sometimes it’s the simplest things that grab your attention.  We posted this photograph and caption to our Soulspring Facebook page and were blown away by the response: 58 people liked it, 50 people shared it and 15 people commented!

The interaction caught our attention; clearly you were intrigued by the notion of living life out front.  By looking closely at this photo we uncovered 5 Ways to Live Life from the Front Row...

1.    Dare to take the ride: Don’t let fear, age, size, [insert your excuse here] keep you from the excitement of life.  Playing it safe is what the onlookers do--and surely you’ve noticed they’re the ones having the least amount of fun.

2.    Be the first one on: If you want to live life in the front row, you’ve gotta be the first one on the ride.  If you hesitate for even a moment, some other brave soul is going to take your place and have all the laughs.

3.    Take a friend along for the ride:  Who doesn’t feel a bit more courageous with someone they trust riding shotgun?  Grab your BFF and take on the adventure together.

4.    Let your hair get messy (and your skirt fly up):  I shudder to think of how many times I let an opportunity pass me by simply because I wasn’t dressed for it.  So what if your skirt flies up and your hair blows around; hang on to your hat and enjoy every minute.

5.    Be o.k. with the next best thing: When all else fails, and you miss your chance to be up front, don’t underestimate the fun and excitement of the second row.  From the looks of it, that’s the next best place to be.

Kim,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:
“The person who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore.”   ~Dale Carnegie