With an Ageless Attitude You're Never Too Old

It seems as though there’s a common fear among women as they age; that they have an expiration date and once they reach a certain point in time they’re too old. Too old to try new things, go on grand adventures, start new careers, or live the life of their dreams.

We’ve never really bought into that way of thinking. Perhaps it’s because within our midst is a real-life example that debunks this limiting belief; our own mother, Rita.

Shortly after Mom turned 60, she and Dad sold their farmstead of 30 years, got rid of most of their belongings, purchased a massive RV and hit the road with nothing but a compass and possibility ahead of them. When they announced their plans it wasn’t hard to imagine Dad loving life on the road, but Mom? She was more of the stay at home and tend to the garden type. But, it’s been over 6 years now and together they’ve had enough adventures to prove to anyone that you’re never too old.

While they still summer back at the farm, the rest of the year is spent touring the highways and byways of the country and volunteering for the Texas State Park System. They’ve been east and been west, visited what we believe to be a record number of wineries, walked battlefields and toured mansions, and never leave a state without stopping at the Presidential library, if there is one. Some of their escapades make us extremely nervous and we remind them that we’re not made of money and should they be kidnapped while exploring those remote towns in Mexico, we’re not quite sure how we would pay?!

Their State Park stories make us a bit anxious too. The long hikes on rough terrain setting trail markers is very physically demanding, even for the much younger park rangers, let alone a couple of 60 something gringos. Still, they send back pictures of the group, park rangers exhausted and resting in the shade, Mom and Dad in wide brimmed hats, spry as always and smiling from ear to ear.

You can image our surprise when Mom announced she and Dad would be taking a 4 day tour across the Rio Grande into the mountains of Mexico, on mules no less. Mules? Yes, the extremely steep and rough terrain was too much for most horses. Mules could navigate the rugged country much better. And so they went, and rode, and had a great time. We picture their adventure to be a little like Billy Crystal and the gang in City Slickers. They say it was a full trip, riding up to 25 miles a day, but that they hope to do it again, sore butts and all.

And who can forget white water rafting on the Rio Grande. The white water was no match for Mom. Five hours was spent navigating the river along with a guide. The areas of rapids were a little threatening to them at first but it didn’t take very long at all before they had the hang of it. They also were able to experience rafting through multiple narrow gorges, too. And as they glanced up they couldn’t help but notice stranded vehicles perched along the side wall. Cars that had driven off the road up above and it was too dangerous for any rescue personnel to pull them back out, so there they stayed. Yikes is right!

But the adventure to beat all, and one that makes us wish we could implant a tracking device into each, consisted of them setting out through the Texas dessert to look for ancient hieroglyphics. They had heard about them from a park ranger and listened intently as he described the location. On their next day off they packed up their Jeep and set out across unkempt roads (later we would learn a cactus spine had actually lodged into the tire of their vehicle but they made it all the way back to Wisconsin before the tire began to leak!).

After hours of driving they finally arrived at their destination, a sheer rocky cliff. Not exactly as they envisioned, and not prepared with any type of climbing gear, they stopped for a moment to question if they should really continue.

Well, since others had done it, they certainly could too and so they set out up the rock face. Carefully climbing but enjoying every minute. Upon reaching the top and discovering the ancient drawings, they decided their climb was definitely worth it; a view of untouched history. The hieroglyphics were amazingly preserved within the recesses of the cliff. And the view of the mountainous dessert, well that was amazing too.

But then came the even more difficult task of climbing down. Thankfully they made it back safe and sound and reported back to the park ranger about how amazing their day was. With wide eyes the ranger replied, “What?! No one climbs up there! How did you even make it?!”

Thanks for being such a positive influence on us Mom! We may not be quite as adventurous as you, but we haven’t given up on ourselves yet! You’ve proven to us that there’s plenty of time for wild escapades and thrilling explorations. But more important is this lesson: Age isn’t a number, and it has nothing to do with how you feel…it’s more of an attitude and yours is ageless. We love you!

The Soul Sisters

Soulspiration of the Week:
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” ~C.S. Lewis

I Struck it Rich in My 20’s

I’ll be jumping feet first into another decade of life later this week. Hello 30! I think about where I was ten years ago and I laugh. The good ol’ days when the spending limit on my one and only credit card was $150. I struggled to make my $130 car payment each month. It was a chore to get out of bed early enough to make an 8 a.m. class. And my idea of a cheap and healthy meal was sitting down to a can of corn (no kidding). Oh, to be young and naive!

As I get closer and closer to my big day the off-handed jokes and comments about "being old" are becoming more frequent...having a hard time getting out of bed, or teasing about spotting a gray hair. And then, of course, I hear the congratulations on “surviving” my twenties. 

I wouldn’t really say I “survived” my twenties, more so I’d say I got rich in my twenties. These past ten years have been overflowing with blessings that I could never have imagined. Allow me to reminiscence:

I became comfortable with myself. Coming off the heels of high school, where your idea of how you’re supposed to be comes from the popular crowd at school, my early twenties was full of being uncomfortable; a mix of low self-esteem and confusion. But over the past ten years I’ve grown in confidence and self-awareness – I finally feel a sense of who ME is supposed to be.

I became a wife. In our case, it’s true what they say…you’ll find love when you least expect it. My husband and I were unknowingly set up by two 14 year old girls. Who really expects that to work out? (It’s a cute story that I should share with you sometime). But they obviously knew what they were doing; we’ll be married nine years in October. It’s simply wonderful when you find someone to walk along life’s path with you; truly making the good times sweeter and the hard times easier.

I became a mom. I always knew that I wanted kids but until you’re a mom you never really understand the extent of the blessings that come with it. While sometimes annoying, I’m lucky enough to hear the word, “mom” exactly 1,000 times a day. I have never-ending supplies of wet kisses and sticky fingers. My office corkboard is always filled with construction paper hearts, stickers, stick people, and finger paintings. And our hallway closet will probably always smell like Crayola crayons. Children are definitely blessings you can never imagine to be so great.

I became unemployed. I remember a conversation I had with my mom when I was expecting my first child. She was gently urging me to quit my job and stay home to enjoy the rewards of being a stay-at-home mom, as she had. I replied with a “we’d love that but there’s no way we could make it on one income.” Little did I know we actually could, we just needed a little push from the Universe to believe it. Three years after that conversation, when I was expecting our second child, I was laid off with no opportunity to be called back. Sure it was shocking, stressful and maddening at the time, but now look at me, I’m considering that one of the highlights of my twenties!

Those were my BIG blessings over the last decade. Of course there were plenty of smaller, but equally as sweet ones sprinkled in as well; a Hawaiian cruise, Josh Groban in concert, buying a home, whale watching, RV trips with my parents, a visit to the most magical place on Earth (Disney World), my own good health and that of my loved ones, the launch of Soulspring Groups, gaining an appreciation of wine, attending “I Can Do It – Tampa”, pursuing my passion of photography, learning patience, and making some amazing friendships.

Life is grand! Happy birthday to me!

Becky,
Sister of Soul

Soul-spiration of the Week:
“A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip.” ~Unknown

Teaching What's Right

We’re continually bombarded with advice about parenting; seems like you can’t get far these days without hearing some sort of report or recommendation. Advice comes from Dr. Phil saying to increase communication, and from Parenting Magazine saying not to bribe too much. Now my personality being what it is, I take everything to heart and try to apply any good suggestions to my personal life.

I hear that reading to your children improves their literacy in the future and so I read to them. I hear that they need to be eating more fruits and vegetables, to which I say, “Bring on the green beans”. I just heard the other day that children are hearing “I love you” less these days, so here comes the “I love you”s. It really goes on and on, and the list gets longer and longer. Seems there’s so much to keep track of in the quest to be the “perfect parent”.

And then I heard it; the mother of all parenting advice! This advice makes remembering all the other advice unnecessary. It’s really very easy but it will guide you from this day forward. The advice: Simply ask yourself every night, “What did I teach my children today?”

It’s no surprise that children learn from example, and everyday is jam-packed full of learning. From the moment they wake up until the moment they go to bed, they are examining, questioning, and remembering everything.

So what are we teaching our children each day? Are we telling our son that the computer is more important than his questions? Are we portraying the role of a disempowered woman to our daughter? Maybe we’re showing them that living in a state of overwhelm and clutter is normal? In our relationships are we being role models of a loving and happy couple? Are we teaching them how to deal with disappointment in the right way? Are we teaching them to be safe and set limits? Are we showing them that our dreams and goals are important and within reach?

Spend some time contemplating what you taught your children today. Is it what you want to be teaching them? If not, it’s time to implement a new lesson plan.

Becky,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:
“In teaching you cannot see the fruit of a day's work. It is invisible and remains so, maybe for twenty years.” ~Jacques Barzun

The Gift of Memories

As I get more seasoned as a mother I realize more and more how great my own parents are. They provided for all our needs as we grew up but always put more attention on the non-material things in life. They were constantly putting time into making memories with us over buying an over-abundance of gifts. Our Christmases from the past included caroling, tobogganing, homemade eggnog, and surprise visits from Santa. Each year was complete with a flurry of gift opening as well, but these are the memories I remember. Yes, we all want the best for our children but I think there is something to be said for a child to be raised with wanting some things that they never quite get. And for those gifts that they do get…isn’t the excitement that much more intense when a gift has been on their wish list for years prior?

As my children get older I try to parent them as my parents did my siblings and me. Instead of putting the focus on the gifts at Christmas, I try to put the focus on making memories. Memories are a funny thing though; there is no way for me to know what things my kids will remember and what they will forget. All I can do is to take the time to create memorable experiences for them and hope that they remember.

We got home at about 10:30pm on Christmas Eve, after a busy evening of church and then a family gathering. The drive home was a little treacherous, but once we made it we could appreciate the beautiful evening; calm winds, warm temps in the upper 20’s, and the hugest snowflakes coming down over our neighborhood. Now my normal routine is to hurry from the car into house while my husband unloads the kids. But this night was different as I instantly saw an opportunity to make a memory for my daughter. As we stood at the edge of the garage watching the snowfall I reached down and packed together a snowball and threw it at my husband. I’m still not sure who was more surprised, my husband or my daughter. It took a few moments for her to realize what mommy had just done. Then she let out a laugh like you’ve never heard. Before we knew it all three of us were out in the driveway throwing snowballs at each other. And there we stood, still in our dress clothes from the Christmas evening, having a snowball fight, and making a memory for my daughter.

There was so much to enjoy about this past holiday season but that was easily my highlight and I hope it’s a memory that sticks with my daughter. If not, oh well, I plan to give plenty more throughout the years!

Becky,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:
“Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.” ~From the television show The Wonder Years