Spring Cleaning Tip: A Lesson from a Diaper Bag

We hit a pretty big milestone in our home last week; we threw away our diaper bag!  My 2 year old (soon to be 3) has yet to fully master the “big potty”, and apparently likes the freedom that comes with being able to “go” and play at the same time.  However, he’s taken to carrying around a little backpack, and in a recent light bulb moment, we decided that he could carry his own diapers and wipes going forward.  So, while cleaning his closet the other night, I took one look at the diaper bag and said, “It’s time.”

While to some this may not sound like a major event, but to anyone who’s lugged around the bottomless pit of necessities that accompany a baby will appreciate just how exciting this moment was.  This bag has been a member of our family for the last 3 years.  Wherever we went it had to also go.  It was our bag of “everything we will or might need to take care of our children (both of them) and any other child that might need something due to their parent being in-a-pinch”.  I was ecstatic to get rid of this thing and my husband even commented on the smile that couldn’t have been wiped from my face.  Tossing this bag was like lifting 5 pounds off my shoulder (literally).

Then the next morning, as I was taking something else out to the trash, I saw it there; all alone and cold in our trash can.  OK, so I got a little sad.  I mean this bag has been an important part of our family and has always been there to help us in our times of need.  The memories of this bag being at every major milestone for my son came flooding back; the hospital when he was born, at baptism, vacations, birthdays, holidays, and more.

So, no, I didn’t take the diaper bag out of the garbage (eww).  But, I did have to take a moment to remind myself that all those memories aren’t gone with the trash.  They are held in my mind and in my heart, not in any bag.  What I had thought was merely a milestone for my young son was a lesson of growth for me, too.  The incident inspired me to look at other things in my house a little differently – what else am I holding on to, and for what reasons? 

I have a new mental checklist while I’m cleaning now…Do I use it?  Do I love it?  Does it make me happy?  Perfect...Just in time for spring cleaning!

Becky,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:“Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.”  ~Kevin Arnold

Teaching What's Right

We’re continually bombarded with advice about parenting; seems like you can’t get far these days without hearing some sort of report or recommendation. Advice comes from Dr. Phil saying to increase communication, and from Parenting Magazine saying not to bribe too much. Now my personality being what it is, I take everything to heart and try to apply any good suggestions to my personal life.

I hear that reading to your children improves their literacy in the future and so I read to them. I hear that they need to be eating more fruits and vegetables, to which I say, “Bring on the green beans”. I just heard the other day that children are hearing “I love you” less these days, so here comes the “I love you”s. It really goes on and on, and the list gets longer and longer. Seems there’s so much to keep track of in the quest to be the “perfect parent”.

And then I heard it; the mother of all parenting advice! This advice makes remembering all the other advice unnecessary. It’s really very easy but it will guide you from this day forward. The advice: Simply ask yourself every night, “What did I teach my children today?”

It’s no surprise that children learn from example, and everyday is jam-packed full of learning. From the moment they wake up until the moment they go to bed, they are examining, questioning, and remembering everything.

So what are we teaching our children each day? Are we telling our son that the computer is more important than his questions? Are we portraying the role of a disempowered woman to our daughter? Maybe we’re showing them that living in a state of overwhelm and clutter is normal? In our relationships are we being role models of a loving and happy couple? Are we teaching them how to deal with disappointment in the right way? Are we teaching them to be safe and set limits? Are we showing them that our dreams and goals are important and within reach?

Spend some time contemplating what you taught your children today. Is it what you want to be teaching them? If not, it’s time to implement a new lesson plan.

Becky,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:
“In teaching you cannot see the fruit of a day's work. It is invisible and remains so, maybe for twenty years.” ~Jacques Barzun

Get Reacquainted With Your Imagination

My four year old just entered an expressive new stage; imaginary friends. Seems as though she is very popular with these friends of the invisible sort, as she’s introduced me to about ten of them over the last week. A couple days ago I had to do everything in my power to keep from laughing as I watched her making “friends” with the knots in our dining room table. I had to be grateful though; they were very polite knots. As one knot said to the other, “Hello, my name is Evan, it’s very nice to meet you.”

At first I was a little worried thinking about how this might be a precursor to schizophrenia. As my mind wandered into the future I saw visions of critics blaming me, as the parent, for my daughter’s mental illness. But as I took a step back I realized what a special gift my four year old, and most I’m assuming, have at this age; the gift of imagination.

Children have the ability to turn a puddle into a vast ocean that takes days to cross. Or they can take the living room couch and turn it into a car, complete with front seat, back seat, and trunk. And give them a cardboard box and the possibilities are truly endless to what they can create and discover. But what happens to that imagination?

As we grow older and are faced with adult responsibilities, harsh lessons, and become more aware of reality, we lose the same kind of imagination that we all once possessed. As children, we’d fall asleep imagining all the fun things we can do the next day with the big sticks in the backyard and the old bucket in the basement. Then we’d wake up the very next day and make it happen. There was nothing holding us back. Now as adults, we daydream while stuck in traffic about our future, but just as quick as those visions come to us they are snatched away by our assumptions of what is possible.

Dr. Wayne Dyer teaches that imagination is the most important resource we have in achieving our dreams. How is it possible for us to attain something if we can’t first imagine it? Not very. We must first expand our imagination by letting our minds run wild. And then when we tap into what we really imagine for our futures, we need to believe that it is possible; question every corrupting thought you have.

And if your “imaginator” is still broke…seek out the help of a 4 year old!

Becky,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:
“Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” ~ Gloria Steinman