I’ve Got Some Bad News and Good News

How many times have we heard that statement? We’re reluctant to hear the bad news but at the same time so relieved to hear there’s some good in the mix. The only question that remains is which to hear first.

Recently I had a revelation; a big ah-ha moment that has changed forever the way I think about the “good news-bad news” phenomenon. What if the “bad” news was also the “good” news? Bear with me a moment and let me roll out my thought process…

A few months ago when I was in Tampa for the “I Can Do It” seminar I called home to check in with the hubby. I could sense immediately that something was wrong and sure enough his mother had fallen and broken her leg. Mom celebrated her 86th birthday in August and has been struggling with foot and leg pain for a while now, and her eyesight has been deteriorating as well; all a result of diabetes. Getting around was a challenge for her already and now a broken leg…yes, this was definitely bad news.

However, I was already in day three of my “I Can Do It” experience. I had received a hug and a kiss from Wayne Dyer, saw Louise Hay gush over pictures of my niece and nephew, heard the greatest motivational speakers share about God’s hand in our lives and His miracles (not their rarity, but their frequency), and saw scientific evidence proving the existence of Divine support (as if I needed more). The underlying message throughout the event was that we are part of a greater plan, contributing to a greater purpose, supported and loved by a greater Power. Thus, everything that happens, happens for a reason.

But what could possibly be the reason for my mother-in-law having to suffer yet another blow to her health? Well…with the broken bone and surgery to repair it, Mom will be getting some physical therapy; I’m sure that will contribute to her ability to get around in a more stable fashion in the future. Maybe eating meals and taking her medications under the supervision of medical staff will improve her health overall. And Dad…well the best of Dad comes out in times like these. At the age of 90, his Marine training kicks in and…how shall I say it…everything from meals to laundry becomes a little more regimented.

Wow, maybe some “good” could come out of this. I started to think back at other “bad” experiences from my past and found that even the “worst of the worst” of them had set into motion events that in hindsight support my happiness today.

From our vantage point it’s impossible for us to see the greater plan for our lives. We must stop labeling anything as “bad” because it might actually be for our “good”. What if instead we imagine the best that could arise from the situation and look for the lesson or gift that is hiding there for us?

O.k., humor me one last time… “I’ve got good news and bad news. The bad news IS the good news.”

Kim,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:
“If you don't change your beliefs, your life will be like this forever. Is that good news?” ~ W. Somerset Maugham

Empowerment Tool: The Change Equation

I’m sure we would all agree that empowerment would come easier if we lived in a plastic bubble. Our world would be safe and totally under our control. We could go through our day and not have to deal with the driver that cuts us off, the spouse that doesn’t fold the laundry according to the approved protocol, or the negative co-worker whose main goal in life if to drag everyone down into the crab bucket. Unfortunately we don’t have that kind of isolated existence and we must interact with people of all kinds, as well as their behaviors and actions, daily.


We’re faced with obstacles, challenges, and irritations day in and day out, and if we’re not careful it’s easy to play the blame game. The areas in our life that we’re not happy with become due to someone or something else: My marriage is dead because of my husband, I hate my job because of my boss, I’m physically unhealthy because of my genetics, etc. We think that nothing can get better unless these other things change, and because changing another person or a situation that truly is out of our control is impossible, we become stuck.

But I have some fantastic news…It IS possible to change the outcome of any situation. It’s as easy as a mathematical equation and starts with changing that which is truly in your power; yourself!

Would you like to see proof?

It’s called the change equation, or simply A+B=C, as described by Dr. Catherine Birndorf, MD in her book “The Nine Rooms of Happiness”. Consider it a little empowerment tool to tuck in your belt.

A – is you, B – is the thing you are blaming (that is not in your control to change), and C – is the outcome. So you see, if you make a change to A (yourself) and leave that which is out of your control (or B) unchanged, you will still get a different end result for any challenge or difficulty you may face. Such a simple solution for becoming unstuck!

The next time you find yourself blaming, find your solution in the change equation. Experience a different result by changing yourself.

Becky,
Sister of Soul

Soul-spiration of the Week:

“Every man is the architect of his own life. He builds it just the way he wants it. However, after he has built what he wants, he sometimes decides that he doesn't like what he has built and looks for someone or something to blame instead of changing himself.” ~Sydney Madwed

Are You Making the Grade?

We are all familiar with the concept of being graded for the efforts we put forth in school. When you took a test you expected a grade as a result. You also received grades for things other than the display of your knowledge in a certain subject. In the early years you may have received a gold star for finishing an assignment, regardless of how accurate your answers were. A value was often times given for class participation, effort, and your respect toward classmates and classroom equipment, for example. Those grades were recorded, compiled, and sent home periodically in the form of a report card. Report card day was either looked forward to, or dreaded, depending on how you performed as a student.

It seems the idea of giving out grades hasn’t stopped at students. Now it’s being applied to teachers. It wasn’t long ago that politicians, parents and school administrations developed the idea of grading how well of a job our teachers are doing. Whether that idea sparked the next to receive a report card I don’t know…but this week I read that parents could be next in line to receive a letter grade for their efforts and involvement in their child’s education.

The grading system is a powerful tool. It’s there in black and white….there is no longer a question of how you are doing; you either excel, need to put forth more effort, or you are smack dab in the middle; an average student. Bottom line….you know where you stand, what you have to work on, where your strengths lie, whether or not your hard work had paid off, and whether you’ve shown improvement.

So let’s see….how do our report cards stack up? In the subjects of FAMILY, SELF, GOALS, MONEY, and WORK, give yourself a grade: A, B, C, D or F. Be sure to take some time and really be honest with yourself. Are you excelling in any one area? Do you need to work a little harder on another? Maybe you are just riding the fine line of mediocrity; doing just enough to get by? Are you satisfied with your grades or do you feel you need to make some changes? It sometimes doesn’t take much effort to make some small improvements.

And, don’t forget that Gold Star. You deserve extra credit for participation, attempting something new, or taking steps toward a goal! Sometimes it’s the Gold Stars, that when added together make the difference between an F or an A+.

Jenny,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:

"Life is an error-making and an error-correcting process, and nature in marking man's papers will grade him for wisdom as measured both by survival and by the quality of life of those who survive."  ~Jonas Salk

Life Purpose: What’s That Got to Do with Goal Setting?

One of the best parts of my Soulspring Groups work is meeting with women in a group coaching setting and leading them through our Passion Processes. Few women actually take the time to do this type of self-reflection on their own, and after a few hours of exercises, interaction and conversation, I’m always amazed by the clarity, light bulb-moments and bits of brilliance that surface amidst the fun and laughter.

Women are so wise when they allow themselves to be. Unfortunately, all the chaos of daily life keeps us pretty busy and distracted. That’s what our Soulspring Groups meetings are all about; giving women one evening a month dedicated to gaining clarity about their own personal dreams, goals, passions and life purpose.

It was at such a gathering, during a “Rapid Fire” exercise, when an important lesson revealed itself. So basic was the message, yet it’s one that is often overlooked. Our question was, “I’ll be living on purpose when…” and the premise of the exercise was to go from woman to woman asking them to fire off the first thing that came to mind. Of course all the answers were wise and great, but one in particular stuck out…

“I’ll be living on purpose when…I do the things I say I will do and don’t agree to the things I know I won’t do.”

Yes, seems pretty common sense, yet within that one statement are a multitude of life lessons. The stress that comes with over-commitment, the integrity issues that accompany our inability to say “no”, but at the core is an even more significant principle for success and happiness.

The happiest and most successful women are masterful goal-setters. They decide what they want, set goals around those desires, create a plan, and then work the plan step by step until victory is achieved. We’ve worked hundreds of women through this very process and have seen many amazing accomplishments as a result. But for every goal achieved, there are many more goals that are not. How could this be?

There is a precursor to this process; one might even call it a secret to goal setting success. The secret is that if the goal you wish to achieve is not in alignment with your purpose, it will be extremely difficult, if not impossible, to realize. However, set a goal that is consistent with your purpose, and not only will you achieve it, you will be inundated with help, support and resources, the process of pursuing it will be easy, exciting and fun, and the speed at which you fulfill your dream will be greatly accelerated!

If realizing your dreams and goals have proven to be a challenge for you, perhaps the problem is within your purpose, or rather the lack of clarity around it. How can you get clear?

• Soulspring Groups can help you gain clarity about your dreams, passions and purpose.  Visit our website to learn about joining a Soulspring Group in your area, or starting a Soulspring Group of your own.
• Connecting with like-minded women will lead you in the right direction!  We invite you to stop by our Facebook page and join our growing community of inspiring and empowered women. 
• Remind yourself just how amazing you are! Get your free copy of our newly released e-book “50 Reasons to Believe in You” HERE.

Above all, remember it’s about more than goals and success; it’s about living on purpose.

Kim,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:
“There is one quality which one must possess to win, and that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one wants, and a burning desire to possess it.” ~Napoleon Hill

Stop the Clutter!

I came home last night and completely lost it. You know what I mean by “lost it”; where the ugly twisted sister, that you stuff way deep down within, rears its ugly head. It’s never a pretty picture. But it happens to the best of us if we’re not careful.

Against my better judgment I made a late night grocery run in -15 degree wind chills, which added to the excitement I’m sure. By the time I got home I was tired and chilled straight through to the bone. I walked into the kitchen, and there it was…the island counter of clutter that had been staring me in the face for almost two weeks. I’m sure you can picture it; where you almost have to remind yourself that yes, there is a countertop under there. And when you look at it you kind of tilt your head and think, “There must be some sort of space vacuum occurring here to support this type of balance.”

How do countertops get that way? Most of us have them; the one counter area in the house that’s a catch-all for all the items that we need, maybe need, or might need someday. Heck, there’s probably even stuff there for the shear reason we needed a pit stop on the way to the garbage. And before you know it, you can’t find your counter. It’s gone.

For someone like me, this was a recipe for disaster. Clutter has never been my friend. So why was the mess still there? Who knows? I’m sure I was busy, or lazy, or didn’t feel like spending 2 hours cleaning it up…again. Strangely enough I seem to be the only one in the household bothered by this particular type mess.

This monstrosity had been sucking my energy to live! I couldn’t think straight, I felt depleted, it was hindering the potential of my kitchen, and it was draining my positive energy. But in what must have been my cloudy thinking I made the choice to leave it there. So there it sat, eating away at me…for two long weeks. I’m not sure why it seemed like such a surprise that it was still there when I arrived home. Did I really expect that it would have magically cleaned itself?

So I sent my husband to bed (it would be better for him to not be around for this) and I dove in to finally clean the mess. How I had built the job up in my mind to be a 2-hour ordeal, I’ll never know. Just ten minutes later (yes, it took me a grand total of 10 minutes) the mess was clean and I was sane again. Ten minutes well spent!

What clutter do you have in your life? By tackling this clutter head-on could you free up your energy and harness new power? What shift would occur by focusing just 10 minutes on one area? There’s only one way to find out. Now roll up those sleeves…

Becky,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:

"Clutter is stuck energy.  The word "clutter" derives from the Middle English word "clotter," which means to coagulate - and that's about as stuck as you can get." ~Karen Kingston

We Encourage Returns

It always amazes me how quickly the Holidays fly by. With a blink of an eye you’re staring glassy eyed at a room full of ripped wrapping paper, boxes, and bows strewn about. All the time wondering to yourself how could it possibly be over? It seems like we just got finished with the dishes on Thanksgiving Day. But now we enter the unofficial part of the Holiday season….gift returns.

Millions will head to the costumer service department with receipts in hand ready to exchange their gifts for something different. Maybe they want to exchange it for a color or size that suits them better or even returning it all together because they don’t want it.

Things get returned to the store for so many reasons. Either it doesn’t fit or it’s not our style, we don’t feel good in it, maybe it’s damaged or we just plain don’t need it. Making a return has really come along way from years ago. It used to be a much avoided task. There you were standing in line waiting for your turn to be interrogated. The unhappy clerk would fire a dozen accusatory questions in your direction and upon finally realizing that they couldn’t change your mind would leave you with a sneer that made you feel guilty for the entire day. Fast forward a few dozen years and we now have the easy pain-free process which can take just a matter of seconds if handled properly.

Now this idea of sending things back from hence they came could really fit into some other areas of our lives…

As you head into this New Year, take notice of items you might be better off returning. Maybe you have a group of friends that are negative and full of criticism - they aren’t your style anymore. Trade them in for more positive models. Or, how do you spend your free time? If it’s in front of the TV watching drivel hour after hour – sounds like that might be damaged? You might need to return it for a few more productive habits like reading, journaling, or taking a walk. Let’s try one more… how are your goals and dreams coming along? If haven’t had any time or energy to focus on them – you probably don’t feel good about it! You should really consider exchanging some of your time and focus on a few things for yourself. Now, I think you’re getting the picture.

How many of us would keep a sweater that is too large or a set of towels that don’t match our bathroom? If we have the receipt we’d be the first in the return line. We do not need to hang on to those other things in our lives that just don’t fit right. And the best part about that is some returns don’t need receipts.

Jenny,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the week:

"I exchange the habits and beliefs that I have outgrown for new and empowering ones that fit with the new vision for my life."

The Choice is Crystal Clear

The picture to the left is more than a lovely snowflake. It’s the result of an amazing series of experiments (or more accurately a life’s work) by Japanese researcher, Dr. Masaru Emoto.

I was first introduced to Dr. Emoto’s work in the 2004 movie “What the Bleep Do We Know!?” The movie highlighted Dr. Emoto’s studies on water and how water crystals change when exposed to various stimuli, specifically written and spoken work, and music.

It didn’t come as a great surprise to learn that water from clear springs produced colorful snowflake patterns and that water from polluted sources were murky, dull, blobs. What was eye-opening to me however, was that similar results could be duplicated by taking the same water and exposing it to positive and loving intentions, or negative words and thoughts. Depending on the stimuli, the water would transform when viewed under a high-powered microscope. He was able to capture the results using high-speed photography.

His experiments involved writing the words or phrases on the bottles which contained the water samples, or having classrooms of children speak to the water. With one water sample the children screamed, “You make me sick.” Another sample heard the children enthusiastically say, “We can do it!”

The water crystal above was formed when infused with the intention “love and gratitude”. And look at the two examples below. One crystal was formed when exposed to heavy metal music, the other heard Mozart.

When you consider that 50% of the earth is water, that 75% of our bodies are comprised of water, and that Dr. Emoto’s research is revealing how positive and negative stimuli can transform water dramatically, you have to pause and question how our own thought patterns and habits are affecting the makeup or our bodies. What an amazing visual reminder to maintain positivity in word, thought and deed, and as a result be filled with beauty. What you allow yourself to be exposed to should now be crystal clear.

Kim,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:
"I am as close to changing my life as my current positive thought." ~Louise L. Hay