Look a Bit Deeper

It was an unexpected surprise to find myself in the company of several former coworkers earlier this week. Some of whom I hadn’t seen in over 15 years. The conversation was much what you would expect to hear during such an occasion; a few laughs over old times, updates on jobs, careers, children, and for some even new grandchildren.

It was during the goodbye’s that one individual looked at me and said, “Jenny, you haven’t changed a bit; you look exactly the same as you did all those years ago.” Well, how about that…Obviously, he wasn’t close enough to see the wrinkles and I have to admit the lighting wasn’t the best so that would explain the fact that he missed the hues of gray in my hair. But still, a pretty great compliment just the same.

Later that day I thought about the comment once again. I pondered it for a moment I had to ask myself, “Can I really look exactly the same after so many years…How could that be possible? I certainly don’t feel like the same person that I was back then.”

To the untrained eye I might seem the same…but a closer look would reveal something quite different. The slight streaks of silver in my hair signify my 20 years of marriage this year. Those little gray surprises appear out of no where with deep rooted strength. They soften with age and blend in time to create a new shade of color; rich in love, respect and compassion. The two crow’s feet that are beginning to appear along side each of my eyes signify my two children. The subtle lines change and grow with each passing year. Becoming more noticeable on the surface as their character develops and they begin to make their mark on the world. The small laugh lines around my mouth signify my challenges and trials. They are very small in the big scope of things, but are necessary for growth and learning life’s lessons while remembering to keep a sense of humor at the forefront. And, the brown age spots, well those are simply reminders to wear sunscreen and a large brim hat.

On the surface it may appear that not much has changed in my appearance over the course of 15 years. But I feel better knowing that that isn’t the case. I love these marks of aging and I wear them proudly.

Jenny,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:
"There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age."  Sophia Loren

Who Do You Think You Are?

Who are you? It’s such a simple question, and yet at the same time so complicated. As women we’re influenced by the media, society, mentors, parents, friends and spouses. We conform and adapt to be accepted, promoted, liked, loved, and admired. But peel away the layers of what others want us to be, and who are we then?

Consider the story of the eagle who thought he was a chicken…

A naturalist was visiting a farmer one day and was surprised to see a beautiful eagle in the farmer’s chicken coop. "Why in the world have you got this eagle living in with the chickens?"

"Well,” answered the farmer, “I found him when he was little and raised him in there with the chickens. He doesn’t know any better, he thinks he is a chicken."

The naturalist was dumbfounded. The eagle was pecking the grain and drinking from the watering can. The eagle kept his eyes on the ground and strutted around in circles, looking every inch a big, over-sized chicken. "Doesn’t he ever try to spread his wings and fly out of there?" asked the naturalist.

"No, said the farmer, and I doubt he ever will, he doesn’t know what it means to fly."

The naturalist persuaded the farmer to let him take the eagle out and do a few experiments with him, even though the farmer made it clear he thought the naturalist was wasting his time.

First, the naturalist lifted the bird to the top of the chicken coop fence and said "Fly!" He pushed the reluctant bird off the fence and it fell to the ground in a pile of dusty feathers. Next, the undaunted researcher took the ruffled eagle to the farmer’s hay loft and spread its wings before tossing it high in the air with the command "FLY!" The frightened bird shrieked and fell ungraciously to the barn-yard where it resumed pecking the ground in search of its dinner. The naturalist again picked up the eagle and decided to give it one more chance in a more appropriate environment, away from the bad examples of chicken lifestyle.

He set the docile bird on the front seat of his pickup truck and headed for the highest butte in the country. After a lengthy and sweaty climb to the crest, with the bird tucked under his arm, he spoke gently to the golden bird. "Friend, you were born to soar. It is better that you die here today on the rocks below than live the rest of your life being a chicken in a pen, gawked at and out of your element."

Having said these final words, he lifted the eagle up and once more commanded it to "FLY!" He tossed it out in space and this time, much to his relief, the eagle opened his seven-foot wingspan and flew gracefully into the sky. It slowly climbed in ever higher spirals, riding unseen thermals of hot air until it disappeared into the glare of the morning sun.

So, who do you think you are? Are you living life true to yourself? Or, are you living life based on the perceptions, expectations, beliefs, and/or desires of others? This story is a wonderful parable for how we live life unaware of who we really are, and instead settle for living life based on the lives we see others leading, or worse, what others want us to be.

Thankfully it doesn’t have to take a life-threatening situation like a push off a cliff to make us realize who we are, our true desires, or our calling in life. It just takes awareness and a little detective work, and our upcoming tele-training event is just the thing to get you started! We would love to introduce you to someone truly amazing…The real YOU!

Self-Aware: Discover the Real You

Monday, May 9, 2011 at 7:00 p.m. (CST)

The Soulspring Tele-Classroom*

It’s FREE*! We invite you to be our guest!

*Long distance phone charges apply where applicable.

You will receive your tele-classroom access code and training materials via email prior to the training call.

REGISTER FOR “SELF-AWARE: DISCOVER THE REAL YOU” TODAY!

Kim,

Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:
“Only by much searching and mining are gold and diamonds obtained, and man can find every truth connected with his being if he will dig deep into the mine of his soul.”  ~James Allen

Don’t Wait for the Next Commercial

I had just gotten home from work. It had been a tense day; everyone coming at me with their requests and nothing was getting accomplished or checked off my own list of to-do’s. I headed to the kitchen to begin preparing supper.  I put a pot of water on to boil and was trying my best to hurry up the process.  I quickly took an inventory of the ingredients I was to need and realized the vegetable was in the freezer downstairs. Not wanting to leave the heating pot unattended I threw the request out within earshot of the two bumps sitting on the couch watching TV. I got a quick response from the male teenage bump, “At the next commercial”. (Now let me just say these two rarely sit comatose in front of the TV for hours on end. However, this day was chilly and damp outside so they were spending their after school unwind time watching ICarly.) Wait for the next commercial, what am I suppose to do with that? What if I need the vegetable before the next commercial comes on?  Ugh!  My pot of water still wasn’t boiling but I can attest that something else was about to boil over.

I mustered up the kindest sounding voice I could and asked the request a second time. To my relief my son dragged himself off the couch to fetch that last supper ingredient. Thank you!

But still I was pondering this idea of waiting for the next commercial, where did they learn it anyway? Who am I kidding….This is certainly not a new phenomenon. Since there has been televisions there have been kids procrastinating on every task imaginable. They wait for a convenient point to break away and do whatever it is that is waiting for them. And, it’s not just kids, as adults we have been known to pull the same trick. Household chores are often broken up into 3 minute chunks of time, perfect for completion during the scheduled commercial interruptions.

Actually, it affects a number of areas in our adult lives as well! How many times do we wait for that convenient place to break away in order to do the things that are waiting for us. You’ve got big things waiting for you; goals, dreams, passions. Don’t just live life commercial to commercial, force yourself to pause the programming a little more often and you’ll be amazed at the things you can accomplish. Turn off the repeats and reruns and a make an all new primetime show…starring YOU!

Jenny,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:
We shall never have more time. We have, and have always had, all the time there is. No object is served in waiting until next week or even until tomorrow. Keep going day in and day out. Concentrate on something useful. Having decided to achieve a task, achieve it at all costs. ~Arnold Bennett.

I Struck it Rich in My 20’s

I’ll be jumping feet first into another decade of life later this week. Hello 30! I think about where I was ten years ago and I laugh. The good ol’ days when the spending limit on my one and only credit card was $150. I struggled to make my $130 car payment each month. It was a chore to get out of bed early enough to make an 8 a.m. class. And my idea of a cheap and healthy meal was sitting down to a can of corn (no kidding). Oh, to be young and naive!

As I get closer and closer to my big day the off-handed jokes and comments about "being old" are becoming more frequent...having a hard time getting out of bed, or teasing about spotting a gray hair. And then, of course, I hear the congratulations on “surviving” my twenties. 

I wouldn’t really say I “survived” my twenties, more so I’d say I got rich in my twenties. These past ten years have been overflowing with blessings that I could never have imagined. Allow me to reminiscence:

I became comfortable with myself. Coming off the heels of high school, where your idea of how you’re supposed to be comes from the popular crowd at school, my early twenties was full of being uncomfortable; a mix of low self-esteem and confusion. But over the past ten years I’ve grown in confidence and self-awareness – I finally feel a sense of who ME is supposed to be.

I became a wife. In our case, it’s true what they say…you’ll find love when you least expect it. My husband and I were unknowingly set up by two 14 year old girls. Who really expects that to work out? (It’s a cute story that I should share with you sometime). But they obviously knew what they were doing; we’ll be married nine years in October. It’s simply wonderful when you find someone to walk along life’s path with you; truly making the good times sweeter and the hard times easier.

I became a mom. I always knew that I wanted kids but until you’re a mom you never really understand the extent of the blessings that come with it. While sometimes annoying, I’m lucky enough to hear the word, “mom” exactly 1,000 times a day. I have never-ending supplies of wet kisses and sticky fingers. My office corkboard is always filled with construction paper hearts, stickers, stick people, and finger paintings. And our hallway closet will probably always smell like Crayola crayons. Children are definitely blessings you can never imagine to be so great.

I became unemployed. I remember a conversation I had with my mom when I was expecting my first child. She was gently urging me to quit my job and stay home to enjoy the rewards of being a stay-at-home mom, as she had. I replied with a “we’d love that but there’s no way we could make it on one income.” Little did I know we actually could, we just needed a little push from the Universe to believe it. Three years after that conversation, when I was expecting our second child, I was laid off with no opportunity to be called back. Sure it was shocking, stressful and maddening at the time, but now look at me, I’m considering that one of the highlights of my twenties!

Those were my BIG blessings over the last decade. Of course there were plenty of smaller, but equally as sweet ones sprinkled in as well; a Hawaiian cruise, Josh Groban in concert, buying a home, whale watching, RV trips with my parents, a visit to the most magical place on Earth (Disney World), my own good health and that of my loved ones, the launch of Soulspring Groups, gaining an appreciation of wine, attending “I Can Do It – Tampa”, pursuing my passion of photography, learning patience, and making some amazing friendships.

Life is grand! Happy birthday to me!

Becky,
Sister of Soul

Soul-spiration of the Week:
“A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip.” ~Unknown

Women’s Empowerment Tip: What Are The Deeper Issues Behind Your Lack of Time?

Check in with any woman and the odds are pretty good that she’s busy, overwhelmed and living life fast! We’re known to have bouts of overwhelm ourselves, and any time we share a time management tip, you devour them in the hope of finally finding the secret to your challenges with time!

Unfortunately, it takes more than a quick tip. Often there are deep-seated issues that fuel our feelings of overwhelm, and until we get clear on what those issues are and resolve them, there’s not a scheduler, a calendar, or a piece of software or technology, that is going to solve our challenges with time. This requires us to honestly answer some hard questions…5 questions actually.

1. What are my top 5 values? Your values are the key to many time challenges. For example, if your highest value is family, but you’re spending 80 hours a week at work, are you going to feel balanced? Knowing what your highest values are is extremely important to uncovering what’s working and what’s not about how you manage yourself in relation to time. If you can get clear on this, you will be amazed at how the answers to your time challenges will become clear. Suddenly you’ll know where you need to adjust your schedule and to-do list; all the hard decisions you were forced to make about time before, become easier because you now know what’s important!

2. What are the top 5 goals for my life? I know what you’re thinking, “I don’t even have time to check my email let alone focus on my life goals right now!” That kind of thinking is going to lead you to waking up one day and realizing that life has gotten away from you. What you think about, you bring about…and if your life’s goals aren’t in your consciousness, you’re going to look back someday with regrets. You don’t need to add your goals to your schedule (not yet anyway), but you must list out what they are before you can be in alignment with how you spend your time.

3. What am I avoiding? You’re busy, we get that. But if you investigate further into where your time is being spent, you may find it’s on the wrong things: time wasters and things that aren’t important. We quickly say yes, when we should say no. We do what’s easy, instead of what’s right. We focus our efforts on what pleases others, instead of what pleases us. So what is it for you? What are you avoiding? Are you avoiding the unpleasant conversation, the difficult decision, the hard choice, your own power? It’s a very important question to answer.

4. How much time do I need? Seems like a silly question but an important one if you hear yourself wishing for time. If time has been your excuse for not perusing your passion, goal or dream, you must understand that time is a lot like money. If you’re going to attract more, you have to show that you can handle the responsibility, that you have a plan, you’ll use it wisely, and put it to good use. If you’re just going to fill your time with more busy-work and nothing truly important, what’s the point? So what’s the big monkey on your back and how much time do you need to work it? Put a number to that. Finding the time then becomes easier.

5. What is the 1 thing I know I need to do to handle time better that I keep putting off? We all know the answers, don’t we? We don’t always like the answer though…we let our fears get in the way and keep the answers buried, and believe it or not, keep ourselves busy and occupied to avoid them! Still, if you can answer this question honestly you’ve made an amazing breakthrough because you’ve got your answer and a starting point for change. The key is being honest with yourself, and getting over the fear that goes along with it.

Kim,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:
"Now is the only time there is. Make your now wow, your minutes miracles, and your days pay. Your life will have been magnificently lived and invested, and when you die you will have made a difference." ~Mark Victor Hansen

Choices Suck

It’s great to have a choice, right? I mean, the power of choice is one of our most precious freedoms. It’s what separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom after all. That’s what we tell ourselves anyway.

The reality of the situation…Well, I’m going to venture to say that most people actually hate choices, and avoid making them at every opportunity. Ultimately, it’s the choices we make that put the responsibility in our lives, and our own happiness squarely on our shoulders.

Everything in life is a choice left to us; the job we accept, the spouse we marry, the schedules we keep. But what do we tend to do? We make choices that are not right for us. We choose what society thinks is right, what our husband thinks is right, or what our children think is right. And that’s where it begins…Instead of choice being one of our greatest freedoms it becomes one of our strongest captors.

We blame our circumstances and situations for our problems and hardships because it’s easier if we pretend that we don’t have a choice in the matter. Instead of becoming the hero of our own story we become the victim; full of anger, complaints, resentment, and sadness.

We tell ourselves that for one reason or another, we aren’t able to make the choices that others are able to make. They’re lucky or special and we’re the ones that got stuck with what we got. Somehow we confused making “tough” choices with having “no” choices and as a result we do what’s easy, play it safe, try to make (or keep) others happy, and instead of loving choices…we hate them.

It’s time to exercise your freedom to choose and to learn to love every opportunity you have to make a conscious, honest choice, whether it is difficult or otherwise. It’s the only path to fulfilling your wildest dreams!

So you’ve got a decision to make...You can either read this post, applying the message to your own life, and start making conscious and powerful choices, or you can choose to skim this text and quickly decide that your life is different and this lesson doesn’t apply to you. The choice is yours. Which will it be?

Becky,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:
"Our dilemma is that we hate change and love it at the same time; what we really want is for things to remain the same but get better." ~Sydney J. Harris

Not Weird, but Wise!

I am fortunate to work with such a diverse group of women. All of varying ages, personalities, backgrounds, and experiences; it sounds a lot like the Soulspring Groups concept, I know. Although, much time is spent as it should be, on the work at hand, quite often tidbits of advice are exchanged while on the clock.

One instance in particular stands out from the past week. As I was working at my desk I overheard a conversation happening outside my door. The younger of two women was describing a situation that she was experiencing with her in-laws. I could tell she was obviously angered by the situation. Like many of us, she was letting the emotions take over and was losing the focus of the big picture...the long term results. The older women confidently stated, “You have to let it go – for your kids and your husband’s sake, it’s best to let it blow over…and it will in time!” I muttered to myself, “Good for her, that advice was spot on!” The younger woman didn’t much like that advice. It was obvious she was hoping for the green light to call her in-laws and tell them a thing or two. Knowing she wasn’t going to receive the message she was seeking, she went on her way. I secretly hoped she would reconsider the advice, however.

The older woman then popped her head in my office, knowing that their conversation had been overheard. She said, “I guess I’m just getting weird in my old age!” I replied, “I wouldn’t call that weird….I’d call that wise!” She gave me a smile and said, “I’d never thought of it that way…”

Do we really buy into the old adage, “Wise beyond our years”? Every single day we are faced with numerous new challenges, new tests, and new opportunities. And everyday we figure out how to deal with each thing that comes our way with style and grace. We learn from the experience itself. We constantly try new things to find out what works and what doesn’t. Give yourself some credit for the gained knowledge that comes at the end of each day.  You truly are "Wise beyond your years!"

Jenny,
Sister of Soul

Soulspiration of the Week:

“We learn wisdom from failure much more than from success. We often discover what will do, by finding out what will not do; and probably he who never made a mistake, never made a discovery.” ~Samuel Smiles